Have you ever drifted with an electric car?

well you should…

I took my driver’s test awfully late (near my 30s) but I can safely say I am not a ‘petrol head’ (as the Brits would say) nor a car geek that knows all about that BMW or Alfa Romeo engine from the 70s.

All my knowledge about cars was given to me by old and dusty Turbo magazines and videogames like Ayrton Senna Super Monaco GP 2 (if this could give you some kind of knowledge just press B and be happy through the bends), TOCA Touring Car, Colin McRae, Grand Prix Legends, Gran Turismo and the likes.

WRC and F1 events in Portugal. If only we could turn back time…

Chances are, if you are familiar with any of these games, you never seen an hybrid or an electric car there. The same with NASCAR and F1 races: no microwaves on wheels going on. It’s all about burning fuel, wasting tires, overtakes and bumps. It’s the gas party and everyone’s invited, including hot girls in branded spandex suits. Oh, and casualties. Many of them. In fact, during the 1950s, the death toll in F1 was a close reminder that WWII had finished not too long ago…

as I’ve said, plenty of accidents during the 50s

The thing is, if you live a sophisticated, erudite and urbane life such as (not) myself, you probably own a SUV. A big car for a big family for the biggest and loneliest ass: you there. Go back to those times when you filled your car with friends and/or family. No problem, I’ll hold your beer

That’s why carpooling and carsharing services are a thing to praise. In these ‘smart cities’ of today it makes absolutely no sense you spend more than 2 hours to commute. Road rage kicks in, you start swearing and you have just brushed your teeth. Laaame. Whether you’re a defensive or an aggressive driver stress levels will go through the hood.

Sorry, through the roof. Yes, in this analogy you don’t own a pickup. Although an electric pickup truck would be the coolest thing to see…

that’s right, I’m a giver…

Gas prices get lower once the Halley comet flies by so your wallet is being constantly punished by your car’s demands: the perfect match between engineering, electronics and mechanics is still to be found. If cars in F1, the most advanced motorsport in the world, crash and burn, don’t expect your dear and brand-new Clio or Corsa to behave as a Land Rover.

No, we don’t live in a world where every car on the road has more than a million miles to roar about. That would be a world full of cab drivers, open flies, toothpicks and where women could never ask questions.

Electric cars, in my opinion, are the real deal. Standard models like Citroen C-Zero (provided by these folks here) are really smooth and comfortable for a ride in a busy city. The torque is absolutely amazing (just count the WTF faces of Porsche drivers) and the driving experience is unique. Suddenly the road quiets down because the car is properly soundproofed and you may have entered the realm of ‘driving nirvana’ where expressions like “you piece of shit” or “eat a bag of dicks” are pulled over and towed.

Driven by the constant pressure of “let’s save the world” (when it’s not followed by the “shit, where’s the next oil wellto be found?”) governments and brands are slowly but surely paying attention to this next generation of vehicles.

I wrote this because my diesel-powered car’s battery failed on me (go figure, just when I wanted to talk up electric stuff!) and I quickly grabbed an electric car to go from A-B and then to C (“let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start”).

Could a cab have my back here? Sure. Do I want to be stressed-by-stress from an angry old gentlemen? Writer says “nooo”.

Do I want to see, in 20 years to come, my kids being driven by someone not in his/hers peak driving conditions? In not-so-reliable vehicles? Author says “get lost”.

Electric cars, GPS, a radio station blasting some acid jazz is probably all you need if you don’t want to be angry and wasting money on the road.

It gets so boring you may be forced to drift once in a while (btw, they can Really drift and it’s awesome because it feels you are moving stuff in the kitchen, like you’re punching the fridge or rubbing your testies on the microwave*)

* in case you want to have good ole’ cab or Tesla-driven kids please refrain from rubbing your testicles near an operating microwave. I’m not a Doctor here but even Dr. Phil here would agree on something like “son, that is not okay”

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