Ameliorate

This time last year,

I was in love with

You

My inexperienced heart was overflowing and I had no idea how to cope with the flood.

But it was hot

Not hot like sex but hot like sunshine being absorbed on the skin.

And you know the consequences of exposing yourself but my god it feels so good.

When your fingers dug in my skin I felt everything and nothing all at once. Numb and holding up a white flag. Surrendering.

But now

My heart still bursts with arousal;

But it’s for the world around me and the information I can absorb.

Absorb like sunshine on my skin and I’m finally learning when I’m going to burn.

I can look through my eyes instead of looking into yours.

I still yearn to wrap you around me and I still ache to find the completion I found in you.

But you no longer invade my privacy, my thoughts, my prospects.

No longer a white flag but a victory.

This time this year,

I am in love with

Myself

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