For the majority of my life, I’ve struggled with emotional issues; namely anxiety, anger, and frustration. From a young age, I’ve been terrified. For no reason.
This was until I found Stoicism and its valuable wisdom in the middle of 2022. It took me a while to finally apply it to my life, but once I did, it gave me more inner peace than ever before.
Today I’ll be sharing many stoic ideas that you can implement into your life. (Keep in mind there will be multiple actionable steps so focus on implementing them into your life one at a time.)
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” — Seneca
Weeks of my life were spent in fear. Fear of what they’d all think of me. Fear of the judgement I’d receive from everyone. I was going to show a side of myself I’ve never shown anyone else. I was going to post self-improvement content on my Instagram.
Turns out, nobody really cared. In fact, I did get some support but eventually, they all faded out into a non-caring abyss. I thought they’d ask me questions like “Why’d you change?” or criticise me in some way. Nope. Nothing.
Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith. Confess to that girl. Outreach to this potential client. Open up to people close to you. Time will pass anyways and you wouldn’t want to waste it by overthinking.
This was quite recent and it does show that I sometimes still struggle with anxiety to this day. But it’s absolutely fine, we will all struggle with this from time to time no matter how great we are.
Actionable Step: Your fear is likely due to a lack of clarity. You may be unsure of what they’ll think of you or how it will go. Action leads to clarity. So take action and take that leap of faith.
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
Sometimes life may not go our way. And that’s okay. Focus on what you can control, forgive what you can’t. Forgive yourself as long as you do the hard work. If you don’t seem to get results on YouTube but you worked hard on your video, be proud.
You can adjust and adapt to the situation which will put you closer to success. It’s a much better approach than sulking about the algorithm as it puts us in a negative headspace and drains our energy.
Actionable Step: Next time the weather is bad (I.e. storm or rain), be grateful. Use the weather to fuel your ambitions, you don’t have to let it hold you back. Maybe you could use it as a Lofi alternative when working or you could use it as inspiration for art. The point is to change your attitude towards events you can’t control.
“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.” — Epictetus
If they can control your attitude, they can control you. It’s ultimately your choice on how you’d react. There’s this small window between your natural impulse and your reaction; what will you do? Cultivate patience or succumb to your natural reaction.
I used to be like this. A kid pushed the back of my chair during class, annoying the living hell out of me. I disturbed the class and all I remember was the kid’s smile, “Looks like someone’s having a bad day.”
Me being my stubborn self, I’ve acted negatively towards that same kid for the rest of the year. Even to the point where he even became tired of it himself. Yes, I’ve felt like I had some power even after he gave up on annoying me… But this kid had more. He kept a rather happy attitude while I was overburdening myself with negative ones.
Wow, lesson learnt.
From then on after trying to implement stoic ideas, I promised myself this would never happen ever again and to that extent. Luckily, it never did! (Great improvement)
Actionable Step: Next time someone does something that angers you or triggers you in some way. Just pause for a few seconds. Breath in. Allow yourself to analyse the situation and see it for what it is.
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be One.” — Marcus Aurelius
If someone told you ways on how to be a great person, you’d probably be offended as it indirectly implies that you’re not a great person yet. Instead, it’d be more convincing if they were a great person themselves and became an example. You’ll likely follow their example and feel less insulted.
Actionable Step: Don’t boast, just be. If you pride yourself in being productive, let that show in your work. If you want to teach someone how to play guitar, prove to them that you can play guitar. If you want to teach people how to be more confident, tell them about your stories on confidence; how you started out nervous and the series of events leading up to your confidence boost.
“Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.” — Marcus Aurelius
Sometimes they may not perform the job as well as you or live up to your standards. That’s fine, it happens and you should have faith in them. Guide them but don’t be too strict.
Be harsh on yourself as you know what is required of you. You could’ve fulfilled your potential today but you didn’t? You shouldn’t be happy about that as you know you could’ve done better.
Actionable Step: Build an ideal week, planning every single minute of each day and try to live up to it. Make sure you know what you could have been doing but you chose not to. Make your next task clear.
Memento Mori — Remember you must die.
Remind yourself of your death; you may die tomorrow, maybe even later throughout this day. Knowing that, what will you do? How will you want to be remembered?
It can help with alleviating judgment as you’ll soon realise that everyone, including those who try to pull you down, will die. You’ll eventually be forgotten, and everything from your most embarrassing moments to your failures won’t matter. What will remain is your gift to the world; from your art to your ideas.
It’s not there to make you nihilistic or sad, it’s there to inspire you. For if there is nothing to truly lose, what stops you from pursuing your dreams, goals and purpose?
Death can also help with gratitude. Thinking about a loved one dying, though it may seem morbid, could make you appreciate them more.
Actionable Step: Meditate on your death and the deaths of everyone around you. Think about your gift to the world. What were you put here for? If nothing really mattered, what would you love to do. Death corners us but frees us at the same time.
Amor Fati — The love of one's fate
Coined by German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, it’s an idea that can set you free.
“That one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it….but love it.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
Not only do you accept it, you love it. Why? Because it was meant to happen. Regret isn’t necessary as the decisions you made were the best possible ones. How? Because of your mindset, situation, and attitude at the time.
Love what happens to you as it’s the only truly positive option. The situation has built you as a person and you should be grateful.
Actionable Step: Think back to something you hated in your past, and reframe it. Instead of dreading it, think about how it changed you as a person for the better. Even the slightest amount of positives you should grab onto. Maybe you were traumatised by your parents. Be grateful as it has later led to you learning how to heal yourself which turned you into a better person.
The importance of journaling
As a Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius, though he had a lot of duties, still managed to take some time to journal. It’s a place where you can be honest with yourself and know yourself better.
Journaling can empower you in your stoic journey by doing the following:
- Self-awareness and clarity — You know how you feel and what you need.
- Gratitude and inner peace — You let go of the negatives.
- Reflection — You get to see how you did throughout the day.
You can use the following:
“What problems am I going to encounter today?” — To Prepare Yourself.
“I am grateful for…” — Practicing gratefulness.
“What will I improve tomorrow?” — Planning tomorrow and growing.
Actionable Step: Check out this useful Medium post on Stoic Journal Prompts.
“Man conquers the world by conquering himself.” — Zeno
This is the essence of stoicism; conquering oneself, specifically your mind and attitude. How will you react to the world around you? How will you interpret them? Stoicism is a remedy to life’s challenges. A way to cultivate virtue and patience in your life.
Actionable Step: Choose one problem, take one actionable step from this post and implement it into your life as much as you can for one month. Conquer your inner world one step at a time.
There are many more ideas from the Stoics (Such as the Four Cardinal Virtues) but these have changed my life. Hope you enjoyed this post and found value in it!
