It’s embarrassing to be mid-conversation and you just randomly zone out. It’s even more annoying and it actually hurts quite a bit when you’re talking and you can just tell that the other person isn’t listening.
In a world filled with loneliness, the least we can do is listen.
People are out here waiting for someone to express themselves to without the fear of being judged. They want to feel accepted and appreciated. But no one is giving it to them. So when someone comes along (this could be you!) that gives it to them, that person gets that feeling back.
Reciprocation
Give before you take. If you give value, you’ll eventually get value back. Humans are wired to reciprocate. Therefore the saying,
An eye for an eye.
If you give appreciation, you will get appreciation. Maybe not immediately but definitely.
Loveless Society
Nobody listens. Everybody wants to talk.
Everybody wants to feel accepted. But no one gives that feeling out.
Learn to listen. And you’ll win everybody.
I remember reading a book by Dale Carnegie last year, called ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. Sadly I’ve lost it but many things still stuck out to me. The idea of not criticising them, being genuinely interested in them and remembering names. (Mind you, there are many more principles you have to check out!)
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn — and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” — Dale Carnegie
Understand them
Start to see people as puzzle pieces to an artistic masterpiece. And aim to piece them together. Ask questions, be interested and also contribute to the conversation.
Remember, most people talk, many don’t listen, and those who do get rewarded.
Remembering names
This is one that has stuck out to me the most as I’ve made the mistake of not remembering names. I’m still working on this principle myself!
I walked passed a group of girls, saw one of them doing a goofy dance and had to tell them. After speaking for a bit, I introduced myself and one of them said ‘That’s a cool name’. Haha, that got me (the power of compliments in a lonely society).
Anyways, by the time I got to learning their names, I managed to remember the names of all of them except the girl who complimented me. Which was ridiculous. I was honest and told her I forgot and I could just tell she was offended.
‘I even said your name was cool!’ — Me paraphrasing her.
Anyways that hurt, especially since she was the one that has shown the most interest.
Zoning in and out
I was talking to a cashier, ordering my food. And randomly, I just zone out. First and last time I’m ever doing that!
The cashier, from being all happy and joyful, became confused and I could tell they were silently judging me. From then on every time I went to that place to order food, I got this uncomfortable judgment feeling from them. Which I deserve.
Moral of the story: Avoid zoning out as much as possible.
I’ve even had it happen to me and it hurts. Eventually, you’ll get used to it.
Learn to forgive people.
I hope this helps and inspires you to learn how to listen. An important skill! My recommendation? Read about it and implement it. I like Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to win friends and influence people.’
Anyways, have an amazing day folks.
