Serendipity of the “F” Word

Uche Onuora
Jul 28, 2017 · 12 min read

Entrepreneurial Narrative and Perspective in the Present Continuous

HITCH: getting it done, progress is messy

To paraphrase Elon Musk’s friend[i], living your entrepreneurial ambition, and starting a company to pursue it, is like eating glass and staring into the abyss. The contemplation that this spawns is a lesson inspired not just by storied profiles in courage[ii] (apologies to JFK and Sorensen), but also emboldened by audacity and perseverance; even when the rationality of survival dictates otherwise. It is embodied in an eerie prescience of pursuing that final breakthrough, on the threshold of bankruptcy, and sometimes coming up short.

Now, most entrepreneurial narratives around failure are always retrospective, and recounted after a successful usurpation of the odds. Today, I choose to share insights gleaned from my extended dalliance with failure, and the impact this has had on my psyche, relationships, and ventures. To augment Elon’s friend, it is important to appreciate the impact of broken glass pieces on the entrepreneur’s entire being, links, and space, not post factum (after the fact), but in fieri (in the moment).

Ironically, where you fail, is as important as why, when, how, and what you failed at. This distinction in failure is subtly encouraged in some markets. A case in point is the current occupant of the Whitehouse. However, for other entrepreneurs, it is a death-knell. In a host of markets, spectacularly failing to the point of bankruptcy means that you might not get another chance at redemption[iii].

And so, let’s start with a basic MFA[iv] introduction.

“Hi, my name is Uche, and I am a failure”. I am not a successful failure, I am an in-the-moment, current, master of failure. I have mastered the dynamics and intricacies of failure; now I want to share what I know from firsthand experience.

For as long as I remember, I have always been fascinated by failure. Not in a destructive obsessive “I want to fail” kind of way, but rather in the “I am not afraid to fail, I’d rather try and come up short” kind of way. I don’t recall when I developed this penchant for trying against all odds, even when I was not sure of the outcome. I guess my father nurtured it in me from a young age. I was always a curious child, active, introspective, and until my post-teen years, very reticent.

Nevertheless, for purposes of this treatise, I started failing (when it mattered most) nearly a decade and a half ago. Funny enough, even though this iterative failure has been interspersed with some spectacular successes (by some standards), my cumulative assessment of its effect leads me to believe that I have either developed a tolerance for failure (failure-addiction), or I am genetically predisposed to it (failure-susceptibility). Because even when I could have coasted home in the midst of said “successes”, I always struck out again to seek my “mission”; on some irresistible but failure-mined pathway to my “raison d’etre” that sometimes appears to be buoyed by hubris. It is almost as if the way to success for me had to be the hard kind of success.

At some point, I guess failure does get tiring. I just haven’t hit that point yet. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I love to fail endlessly. I’m not saying that not achieving goals and objectives that you set for yourself is desirable. After all, what about that track record? And how do customers, investors, peers, family, and friends perceive that serial failure to achieve? It is a grueling undertaking. Nevertheless, I guess what I am trying to say is that in failing; we must strive to learn something new and invaluable. We can convert the opportunity cost of failure into something exponentially (or at least, iteratively) invaluable. So, in other words, we must master the art and science of failure.

In street parlance, this means taming the beast of “maintaining”, as opposed to the immediate desirability of “chilling” (which is relatively easily within grasp). And in doing this, one must accept ab initio that there’s a distinct appreciation for maintaining, as opposed to chilling.

On the streets, the latter denotes a smug, flashy, and often unrealistic (and unsustainable) devotion to sybaritism. Yeah I know; I also didn’t know what that meant initially myself. Indeed, the road to and from Sybaris is littered with the broken bodies of its deluded upstart carpetbaggers. However, in mastering my own failure’s serendipity, I came to understand the dynamics that drove some to the unfounded portrayal of success, and the faux luxury underscoring it. You know, the “fake it till you make it” mantra. Some even remix it as speaking “the power of positive thinking” into reality, and inordinately projecting a “faith that can move mountains”. Now don’t get me wrong; I can’t knock anyone’s hustle. However, I’ve come to realize that for me, that *ish doesn’t fly. Positive thinking and faith must be backed up by back-breaking domain mastery. This comes easier and earlier to some than others, nevertheless, it’s a path that must be trodden meticulously.

On the streets, the former illustrates constant striving, underscored by audacious ambition that has marinated into my ethos, and evolved over the years into a way of life and my reality. This is the “ask why not, not why” mantra, paraphrased from Shaw[v]. For many though, the constant interaction with financial ruin, and intimate knowledge of living on fumes, is less desirable than the sybaritic construct of “living life in the fast lane”. For me, this protracted immersion in the failure culture of a decade+ entrepreneurial sojourn, has bred deeper insights and reflections than I ever thought possible or could learn in any B school. As Edison[vi] surmised, “genius is one percent inspiration, ninety nine percent perspiration”.

But hold up. Before you jump all willy-nilly into the “serendipity” of systematic failure immersion, you have to fortify yourself across three resource-draining spheres, mental (faculty), spiritual (being), and physical (body).

For the first, it is obvious that the risks of the deferred dream of entrepreneurship should never be denied. Just ask Langston, after all, he was the one going on about those raisins wilting in the sun[vii]. Many a time, the clash between the scorching furnace of entrepreneurial reality and the glorious dreams of entrepreneurial ambition, is enough to incinerate any notions of sobriety in its contemplative template. You really have to be crazy to do this. But there is a method to the madness, and this must be grasped. In recognizing that failure takes time, it is best to recognize when your failure quotient has been exceeded, and then iterate quickly to the next thing. By this, I mean that part of mastering failure, is knowing when to record it, note its dynamics, document its lessons, and reflect on its trajectory. There’s such a thing as achieving the failure threshold, or as we are taught during common entrance examinations in Nigeria, its cut-off mark.

Mental faculties must be trained and replenished to ensure your survival. But it all starts with a beautiful mind; one must actively cultivate a mind unshackled by the limits of human incredulity. A mind constantly contemplating an iterative flux of “why nots”, as opposed to negotiating a bribe at the roadblocks of “whys”. Read widely, think broadly, reflect deeply, and live unconventionally. For there’s nothing wrong with norms and conventions, until you realize that norms and conventions — at least in entrepreneurship — stifle the creative license of daring to dream, and manifesting those dreams into a constant practice of implementing ideas and demonstrating ideals in the real world.

For the second, forget all the iconoclasm of modern thought. You better believe in something, or someone, or higher power, or greater intelligence. It does matter, and you must believe, and hold on to that belief, because at some point, you will risk your sanity, and the implosion of the first sphere. You will despair, cry, be despondent, flirt with bouts of depression, and even skirt suicidal impulses. Your ability to hold-on and push through, is greatly dependent on your capacity for belief in (or disbelief about) a concept or notion or reality that fuels your drive. And this compels you to get up after every fall, and scream into that abyss of gloom and doom, and raise your bold expectations high, tattered and disheveled they may be, again and again.

In a recent sit-down with a business mentor, I had to trace the ups and downs of my decades-long trajectory on this path. I mentioned my belief as the core of my survival. We sat for over an hour as I regaled her with recent milestones we had achieved in our current venture, which I chalked up to passion and hard work, but underscored by this steady, though many a time — almost wavering, belief in divine ordination. She was frank in expressing how unusual this “confession” was, especially in a business discussion. I explained that in searching for a rationalization for why I had stuck with this for so long, I was forced to think back on our journey and pitfalls that we had overcome to get to our current milestones. I realized that most successful entrepreneurs profess a belief in something, a mission, a vision, and this inspires them to persevere, and often delivers the initial calibrations of their first product/service. This is the one time when it is okay to figure out the “why”; and in doing so, embrace it fiercely. Hoist it high up as your banner, your standard. As Simon Sinek[viii] says, “start with why”. I would add, “but evolve into the why not”. Let the why inspire the why not.

For the third, it is a tasking grind, and takes its toll on the physical machine that houses our mental faculties and spiritual beings. To paraphrase the Author of Hebrews, “without health, it is impossible to please your users”. When we are younger (and as youth is wont to do), we often overlook the challenges of taking care of ourselves, for the long-haul. In our minds, and to our loved ones’ consternation, we take health for granted. Human frailty is often far from the go-go life of startup culture. However, its importance cannot be overstated. The liberty to relentless pursue our dreams and entrepreneurial ambition, is cradled within limits of our physical health.

The body has a finite amount of energy or, as we were taught in Physics, capacity to do work. Like any bank of finite value (capacity for work), each energy monetary unit (joule) expended, must be replaced linearly or exponentially, for sustainability of the entrepreneurial sojourn. Invariably, this gets harder and harder as time goes on, age sets in, and diminishing returns waltz along in triumph. But it can be accelerated or decelerated proportionally to the health management efforts we embrace. Of course, like with anything, it is easier said than done; but getting it done we must. It is tedious, for as DMX[ix] famously paraphrased Nietzsche[x], “to live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering”. The fait accompli of our health is that it will recede; how soon it does, and what we can accomplish before it does, well, that’s the commitment to finding embellished meaning in the dungeons of entrepreneurial sojourn.

Now, while these three areas are critical, it is essential for one to have the support system necessary to sustain the entrepreneurial undertaking. This is because failure means a lot of things, and has many interpretations (read perspectives); but the broad strokes of the narratives surrounding it should be unmistakable. A must-have is a significant other who gets you and your crazy hair-brained plot. The tough thing about this choice of significant other, is that if you get it wrong, the emotional consequences could slow you down, or derail you completely. It could force you to defer the failure iteration, till further notice, if ever. Without mine, I would have long given up my dreams, in the face of numerous disappointments and closed doors. She has propped me up, cajoled me, counseled me, comforted me, and supported me to no end. The three spheres I touched on, would be nothing without this special woman. Another crucial element of the support system is the team that you cultivate to be equally responsible for essential components of the venture. Without the right founding team in place; just forget it. Don’t bother. Positive and complementary team dynamic is THE sine qua non, for converting entrepreneurial failures into eventual successes. The team at its core, must successively replenish the collective bank of emotional capital needed to see this through. And everyone must pull their weight; else they risk becoming an anchor on team performance. Emotional ROI is a thing, and building your team carefully, could maximize (as opposed to erode) its fortunes.

Indeed, one of the ironic things about failing is that unforeseen incremental assists (from least-expected quarters) often serve as a worthy prelude to that big breakthrough. The move that has led to my biggest opportunity to leverage my failures into “success”, was sparked unexpectedly by my spouse’s divinely-guided counsel and convictions. And so, it means developing an antenna, nay satellite, to pick up gems of knowledge and insight often hiding in any events happening around and about you. Even from unlikely barrages of criticism or fusillades of naysaying. However, in dealing with feedback (disconcerting or otherwise), it is always important to have someone to bounce it off.

The extended failure associated with entrepreneurship is a study in perseverance; but this perseverance has a cost that we might think is too dear. As oftentimes it means foregoing the luxury of the flashy new car that your 9-to-5 or rent-seeking peers flout, or the transient pleasure of that whirlwind vacation or “destination celebration” in cities renowned for their partying. Rendezvous to Ibiza, Bora Bora, Monaco, Mykonos, etc. might entice a lesser mortal; but not you, you must stay the course. It means sacrifice — personal and otherwise, deferring the familial or other public “events of the year”. It is quite lonely, and means turning your back on friendships aligned to the broad and easy fast-lane of life, and instead forging new relationships based on reciprocal appreciation of value.

It means being the last to hear of the current social affairs or soirées. It means investing in knowledge of (and expertise in) your domain; investing in yourself, putting your head down and slugging away at that beast. It means belief, it means dedication to craftsmanship, it means creativity and discipline of purpose. It means financial dislocation, socio-economic deceleration, and a tightness in personal discretions that persist so long, you forget what it means to splurge at the mall. It is drab, tiring, foolish, nay unsexy; until the eureka of your personal consternations becomes apparent for everyone else to see. Until your venture turns the corner of validation, with demo, traction, user growth, and scale in quick succession. Until the entrepreneurial gatekeepers catch up to your vision and thinking, and experience the awe that you’ve imbibed and struggled with in contemplating opportunities within your niche. Until finally, the demons you wrestle with become slavishly tamed to serve your passion. And then, the lavish encomiums might come, or not. However, you press on regardless of certainty of outcome.

Now, while I remain intimately enamored of failure, I have begun to hit my stride in mastering its precepts and leveraging them for long-term success. Very few people understand what it means to be successful after repeated entrepreneurial trials and tribulations. My friend and brother Dikko Nwachukwu (https://www.linkedin.com/in/dikko-nwachukwu-9925964), is a recent case in point, and “Master Failurist”. After years (at least a decade and a half) of doggedly braving the odds, despite the many obstacles that he faced, the lessons, experience, insights, and sheer passion that he demonstrated in profiling the opportunity in his industry and market, sparked an alignment of resources, which has crystallized into JetWest’s (http://www.flyjetwest.com/) imminent launch. When I asked what the major breakthrough for JetWest was, in his words, “experience, credibility, clear articulated strategy, and most importantly, a world class management team”. And then I asked him if launching in 2002/03 when he originally conceived this venture, and without the insights he has since learned along the way, would have resulted in his current successes. His response, “absolutely not. Timing is so right. I can see us stimulating many markets. In fact, any city that has 500k people can be stimulated. Telecom and technology are huge for us.

In a nutshell, many authors, and entrepreneurs themselves, often capture or present this arduous journey after achieving success. This creates a dissonance between its reality versus its romanticism. And so, this piece is for those of us, who are still striving to aggregate our lessons from failure into a milestone of collective experiences (perceived as success), manifested into a product that users want (or need), and which someone will pay for (to keep the lights on and sustain improvements). This is the desired culmination of an entrepreneurial venture eventually being worth the sacrifice. But most times, this culmination does not come quickly or at all. I guess, for me at least, I have found the meaning in the disappointments of that journey. And I go down on my knees every night, blessed to at least have the privilege of trying.

Uche Onuora

Co-Founder/Lead Evangelist — HITCH

Twitter: @HITCHStream

Facebook: /HITCHStream

[i] https://www.inc.com/christine-lagorio/elon-musk-company-failure-brain-health-fact-check.html

[ii] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Profiles_in_Courage

[iii] https://www.strategy-business.com/article/re00163?gko=e016c

[iv] Master Failurists Anonymous

[v] http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/13084/pg13084.html

[vi] https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Thomas_Edison

[vii] https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46548/harlem

[viii] https://youtu.be/u4ZoJKF_VuA

[ix] https://youtu.be/9Ww-TQUeA3E

[x] Genealogy of Morals, III 28 (http://www.georgewrisley.com/Nietzsche%20and%20the%20Value%20of%20Suffering.pdf)

Uche Onuora

Written by

Co-Founder/Lead Evangelist HITCH; with persisting interests in technology for impact; father to 3 wonderful minions, soulmate to @angelaonuora

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade