Kuku Kill Me…
This phrase comes when a person is tired, fed up and is about giving in to dashed hopes.
Pressure and heat makes gold, purifies diamonds and brandishes swords but what they always fail to tell us is that it has to be the right amount of pressure. If it is not right, there will be damage even though it had the potential to be a precious stone.
1. Look at what your mates are doing ….
Comparison is the worst way to demoralize a person’s spirit and ruin relationship. More often than not, a person who sits to listen to your advice or counsel has had some time to think about how dire his/her situation is and needs help. Maybe the person just needs a listener, maybe direction, maybe just someone to say don’t give up, keep striving. Yet you insist on hacking down a wounded soldier.
2. At your age….
OUCH! Especially to an adult, that is just brutal. you make people loose their sense of self worth and can discourage them from even listening to you. They may be there physically but are tuned out.
This kind of statements have led people to do insidious and despicable things, just to prove that their lives are not wasting away. When you see them, you “hail” them and say things like “now you’re talking” (so all these years he’s been dumb?) or “this is what we are talking about”. Meanwhile she is dying with the consequence of what she has done and she is compelled to hide it because she does not want to lose the approval or validation.
There are so many ways to help people that ask for help or people that you notice need help but may be shy, proud or oblivious.
1. Help them unburden:
Having a listening ear is worth gold if it can be converted to anything tangible. People need a friend, people to hear them out, hear their side of the story, how they feel, etc. Be a friend not a Judge.
If you don’t have what to say to someone in need, give them a very big HUG or a SMILE. Take them out for lunch or dinner, just show them that you care.
If you have what to say let it be encouraging. Don’t sugar coat the issue but don’t dwell there. Look for how your words can drag the person out of their misery.
With these few point of mine….