Let’s call this week 1: #uhanejourney

Hi there,
My name is Tanya. I’m 31 years old as of April this year. I’ve been meaning to write this first blogpost for about a month now, but let’s call this week 1. It’s been a struggle. And the struggle is real.

You see, I’ve told myself I’m not very good at writing, which is also why I’ve decided to challenge myself. I don’t enjoy not being good at things and I think the only remedy is to challenge myself to do the things I don’t believe I’m good at. I believe it’s the belief that I’m not good at something which ultimately stops me from being good at it. Which is why I do the things I believe I’m not good at until the feeling of being uncomfortable doing them goes away. Does that make sense? You still follow? Ok great!

So, here’s the thing: I’m usually uncomfortable with something when I get stuck on what other people will potentially think of it. Like the potential success of it depends on others’ opinions of it or on expectations (including my own) of what it should be…

Today I’ve decided that THAT is also something I need to challenge myself with. I value freedom, you see. The way, I figured, to get rid of these shackles is to (like Marcus Garvey said) emancipate myself from this mental slavery. Which is why today is a new day. A fresh start. Where I’ll share. Not just the pretty and solved parts of my life, but my journey. My literal and figurative journey.

It will make more sense in a minute. Keep reading.

So, to start off, here’s a little bit about me:
I’m a sea-, beach-, nature-, yoga-, music-, dance-, book- and food-loving adventurer, who has difficulty staying in one place for long periods of time. I’m a moon-, star- and sun-gazer (yes I said I gaze at the sun for fun!). I would like to spend the rest of my life traveling, learning and studying. Sometimes I like to spend a whole day doing nothing in particular. When I was younger, I never thought my 30’s would look the way they look now; traveling the world, no steady job or relationship and being back at university.

I’m full of contradictions; I know I’m exactly where I need to be, yet I doubt myself and my decisions on a regular basis. I’m in love with food, but I don’t like needing it. I know that if I follow my heart it ususally leads me to right place, but most of the time I live in my head. I’m good at starting things, but I’m not so good at finishing them (as yet, this will change! * note to self *). I believe in living in harmony with nature, but when I see a cockroach I forget everything which I promised Mother Nature. I am fascinated, even infatuated by sharks, yet the thought of ever meeting one freaks me out. I really like being around people and I really enjoy being by myself. I’m extremely stubborn and also very compliant.

I have a complicated relationship with time; I don’t believe it actually exists, but I realize it’s importance. Once upon a time all I wanted is to be a medical doctor. I started, but did not finish medical school (It’s more nuanced than it sounds, but I’ll tell you more about that another time, another blogpost). Now I study Holistic Health Sciences, Natural- and Integrative Medicine from a Quantum Theory perspective. This is a dream come true! Literally!! I’m working on setting up a Project that is close to my heart (the Uhane Project) and I do freelance work here and there. I work and study remotely, while living in different parts of the world for a few months at a time.

This brings me to the most important reason I’m sharing my journey with you: Since I was young I’ve always asked myself why the world is the way it is; why so many people live without some of the most basic human needs (water, food, shelter, access to healthcare or education)? Why people are, many a time, valued based on their race, religion, income, where they were born or who they know and why they are not valued based on their humanity? Why we try to control and dominate our environment instead of living in harmony with it? Why the healthcare system oftentimes does not seem to truly care for health, especially the health of those working in the system itself? Why self-reflection, -empowerment and -leadership are not part of our education. I had many questions about life and I still do today. What I realised, though, is that we collectively create the circumstances that we experience. This subsequently means that we can also CHANGE them collectively.

I do know that I cannot force anyone to change, to dream my dreams for the world and I know that that my perspective is simply that; my perspective. What I can do however, is to start with myself; work on myself, self-reflect and do my best to be the best version of myself I can be, every day. This includes following this (perhaps unconventional) path. Because: I believe in it. Regardless of expectations or conventions. This also includes sharing my journey. Even if it’s not pretty every day. Even if I have moments of insecurity. I’ve chosen to call this journey of mine an ‘Uhane Journey’. ‘Uhane’ means ‘Soul’ in native Hawaiian.

I aim to create spaces for there to be sharing. Convention or unconvention; all types of experiences. The intention is through sharing for there to be space for connection and exploration. The Uhane Project is the vehicle I chose to co-create these spaces. I believe that when there are more safe spaces for sharing and exploring, that through our connection with life, ourselves and others, the world WILL change organically and sustainably. Bit by bit.

I’ll share more about the Uhane Project and #uhanejourney another time. It’s been quite some sharing (and writing) today.

Before I conclude this (week 1) post, I suggest that we make a pact you and I. I know you cannot answer me directly, but I’ll assume that if you keep reading my posts that you’ve accepted this arrangement.

I’ll do my best to keep my posts as real, honest and as simple as I can (and occasionally ask you to indulge me in my verbose, quasi-philosophical rants) and recommend that YOU take them simply as one (of many) perspective(s) on this journey called life; take from it what you like, put aside what does not resonate with you and most importantly let YOUR own heart be the authority on your journey.

From my heart to yours,
Tanya