Why I Should of Taken a Leap Year

I WISH ….

Or maybe I should title it: why I should of chose a different school. At this point I don’t know which one led to my downfall. First year of college sucked. I’m not just talking about the enormous amount of schoolwork and the abundance of notes that I have towering my closet, I’m talking about the environment and overall feeling of the community. In a place where everyone is trying to figure out what they want to be in life, it can be one of the most confusing and scary times of your life. Coming to a campus where you know practically nobody but the assholes who tortured you in high school for being gay can be very detrimental and isolating at times. And when you are in a field of study where typical frat douche bags and prissy sorority girls flock, it can be hard to find genuine connections and people who can make an impact on your life without getting blatantly drunk every night of the week and all weekend.

After all, I was setting myself up for failure from the beginning. Applying and attending a school that has boasted the nickname of “University of Sex and Drugs” was a massive reg flag from the get-go. I knew what I was getting myself into: an inescapable frenzy of acid dropping, pot smoking, beer chugging adolescent “fun”. Now I know I am the curator of my own fate, and that my destiny in life relies on my bare two palms, but an unhealthy and persuasive environment filled with negative influences can create a world of negative decisions filled with no remorse.

Also, let’s not forget about the massive amount of debt I’m in with no money to make up for it. While working to maintain grades and make enough money to pay my bills, I found myself on a burnout status where I was under performing in all categories of my life. I had a great paying job working more than full time at a bank making about 15 an hour, but decided that starting my studies right away was ideal; all thanks to my major (Pre-med).

I wish I would have come into college with a better outlook on life and the working world. I wish I would have taken a year off to work. I wish I would have joined the military. I wish I wouldn’t have wasted all that time and all that money to average C’s my freshman year. I wish I wouldn’t have let down my entire family. I wish I wouldn’t have gotten arrested. I wish I wouldn’t have gotten arrested again. I wish….

It seems as if we live in a world full of wishes but no action. Why can’t I do good with my life? Why can’t my life go in the direction I want it to?

~RV

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