Thank You God For My Downfalls
Father, I’ve come to you this time with a conclusion
As I sit on this cold throne bestowed upon me
I’ve realized that this continual, paralyzing condition is but a faint illusion
Through all the monstrosities I’ve seen, I know that I’m perfect for this scene
Futility caught a grip around my life at 12
They constantly evaded me for my inartificial behaviors
Into their minds and hearts, I never bothered to delve
So I decided to throw up and starve, making the pain my savior
It’s incredible, the amount I had to pretend
Changed my clothes, hair, and personality
Just so I could make a friend
And get a taste of everyone’s reality
At 14, a girl stole my heart from me
My love Erin, I’ll never forget her
But I hope she forgets me, for I left her to be
I apologize for the sorrow darling, to the game I was but an amateur
At 15 I locked eyes with whom I believed to be my soulmate
Oh Rachel, why couldn’t you let me in?!
Through drugs and alcohol, I decided to self-medicate
Let the immaculate sadness and suicidal thoughts begin!
At 16, I met a genuine girl, but she wasn’t prepared for my affection
Lovely Gracie, the darkness had overcome my common sense
You should’ve never given me a chance, and walked in the opposite direction
I had to one-up you as retaliation for the deceit and neglect, in my defense
At 17, I made the best decision or worst mistake of my life
My heart beats and world spins for her
But shouldn’t “the one” bring elation and not strife?
I wish she’d return as my lover and not our covenant's saboteur
While I sat in my room all alone
From my inner demons, I couldn’t defend
She was looking in as my arcane guardian
I swear she was God-sent!
I confess that her love will hide and leave me on my own
Father, I fully rely on you and no one else
Your love is never-ending and every day it is shown
I’m done running in place, in Your name I plan to transcend and progress!