Thank You God For My Downfalls

Father, I’ve come to you this time with a conclusion

As I sit on this cold throne bestowed upon me

I’ve realized that this continual, paralyzing condition is but a faint illusion

Through all the monstrosities I’ve seen, I know that I’m perfect for this scene

Futility caught a grip around my life at 12

They constantly evaded me for my inartificial behaviors

Into their minds and hearts, I never bothered to delve

So I decided to throw up and starve, making the pain my savior

It’s incredible, the amount I had to pretend

Changed my clothes, hair, and personality

Just so I could make a friend

And get a taste of everyone’s reality

At 14, a girl stole my heart from me

My love Erin, I’ll never forget her

But I hope she forgets me, for I left her to be

I apologize for the sorrow darling, to the game I was but an amateur

At 15 I locked eyes with whom I believed to be my soulmate

Oh Rachel, why couldn’t you let me in?!

Through drugs and alcohol, I decided to self-medicate

Let the immaculate sadness and suicidal thoughts begin!

At 16, I met a genuine girl, but she wasn’t prepared for my affection

Lovely Gracie, the darkness had overcome my common sense

You should’ve never given me a chance, and walked in the opposite direction

I had to one-up you as retaliation for the deceit and neglect, in my defense

At 17, I made the best decision or worst mistake of my life

My heart beats and world spins for her

But shouldn’t “the one” bring elation and not strife?

I wish she’d return as my lover and not our covenant's saboteur

While I sat in my room all alone

From my inner demons, I couldn’t defend

She was looking in as my arcane guardian

I swear she was God-sent!

I confess that her love will hide and leave me on my own

Father, I fully rely on you and no one else

Your love is never-ending and every day it is shown

I’m done running in place, in Your name I plan to transcend and progress!

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