How to be more resilient?

Umair Jaliawala
Nov 1 · 3 min read

Lately, my blogs have been more like articles for the sake of knowledge sharing, but let’s have a heart to heart today. In a random article, I came across while surfing the internet, I read that in Pakistan 15 to 35 people end their lives every day! Yes, I’m talking about suicide. That number shocked me ….way too many precious lives being lost.

Now suicide is an extreme example of someone giving up on life but let’s consider the people around us or within us who are unable to recover from a setback, who are unable to see the positive in anything and every crisis is the end of the world for them. Such people lack an important trait, the art of resilience. In simple words, resilience is the ability to bounce back.

So what do you do when something doesn’t go according to your plan? You wallow and dwell on your failure? Or do you acknowledge the situation? Learn from your mistake and move forward? Unfortunately, some people die a bit each day as a result of the battles they lose and failures they encounter. Their light starts to fade and their spirit starts to diminish. Even though everyone around them (including someone like me) is harping about positivity but it doesn’t have any effect, Turns out positivity on its own is helpless unless a person has resilience.

So how can you be more resilient? Now the wise people have made a model:

And I think how we interpret the adversity and what we tell ourselves, our beliefs, is very important. Let me give you a few examples:

So now if you are looking to build resilience, here are a few pointers based on some research by Susan Kobasa:

1. Challenge — every difficulty is a challenge, not a paralyzing event. Learn from your mistakes and consider them as opportunities for growth, Also, any failure is not a negative reflection on your abilities or self-worth.

2. Commitment — be committed to every aspect of your life and goals, and have a compelling reason to get out of bed every morning…

3. Personal Control — spend your time and energy focusing only on situations and events that you have control over. If you spend too much time worrying about uncontrollable events you can often feel lost, helpless, and powerless to take action. Additionally,

4. Maintain a positive outlook of the future

5. Have solid goals, and a desire to achieve those goals.

6. Be compassionate and empathetic

7. Last but not least, you are not a victim. Focus your time and energy on the things that are in your control.

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