People are not interested in You…They are interested in themselves — Do this, and you’ll be welcome everywhere!

Umar Junaid
Nov 1 · 4 min read

Most of us have someone we feel completely comfortable talking to. That might be a best friend, a sibling, or even a parent.

With them, we can easily joke and maintain a smooth, engrossing conversation. Sometimes hours pass by in minutes.

But when we talk to a new person, something changes — especially if they’re your potential interest or intention and all of a sudden, we are like cavemen who can barely form sentences and words and struggle to come up with conversation topics. Start cracking jokes (that’s silly jokes) and trying to put them in a comfort zone. And this is what I’ve to face in my daily life😒. Is there any wrong with us or Is there any wrong with their mindset?

But the truth is that There’s nothing wrong with you, but your mindset may need some adjusting. It all comes down to being too self-interested during interactions. And we people are not familiar with the exact meanings of SELF INTEREST. We always misinterpret the meaning of the word Self Interest and consider it as our interest or personal advantage, but it represents your Gratitude towards others.

But subconsciously, we’re focused on ourselves and seeking an outcome from the other person. And expecting Respect from them but we always forgot them in case of our interest. Here are some indicators which shows that you’re so much Self-interested in yourself:

Worrying about whether or not you’re being judged.

Feeling the need to “win” over them.

Being overly concerned with them or saying the “wrong” thing.

Staying stuck in your head, searching for words or stories to impress the other person.

Cracking silly jokes to impress them etc. etc.

Unintentionally, you’re making everything about you. At that moment you don’t truly care about getting to know the other person.

To make a friendly environment, and to make a team we have to break this ice and start interacting with people and showing our interest in them which is actually a leadership quality.

So I started work on it, (actually, it’s part of my college project and hence I have to do this so) and break the ice by conversating different people of my circle as well as the people whom I’m not familiar with (just have a casual interaction with them), and responses were awesome literally.

I first text my friend Ahsan and ask him about his health and work, he was amazed by my sudden text and said: “Umar Are you alright?😅 and I replied to him, Yes, of course, I’m alright and just asking you about your career and health… then he respond me that “Oh so nice of you” and said I’m good what about you and the conversation started, and we tend to talk for more than 2 hours, exactly I show my whole interest in him and he response me by asking questions regarding me and my career and end with the great affection and said, Umar nice to talk you after a long time and thank you for your precious time.

After that, I found a person whom with I’ve not much interacted and even we are conversating very first time, one of my Amal fellow “Maham”

I firstly text her and ask for her health! It was nervousing for me and hopefully for her too😜 and she was amazed by my text, but she responds to me by putting the same question and ask, “Hello Umar! How are you?” and the conversation started, I started giving her importance and asking for her and she welcomes me on all that and in the last also wish for me that “Best of Luck! For your future”

You can see the screenshots that I’ve attached hereunder that how nicely people respond when you give them interest, time and affection.👇

When you show your interest in others, people start liking you and that’s the day when you stepped up the first step of your leadership ladder.

People are not interested in you, they are interested in themselves. So, if you want them interested in you, start interesting in them, they consider their interest in you as their interest in them.

This concept is also applied in the business world too, like by showing genuine interest in others not only wins the friends for us but may develop one’s customers loyalty to his/her company.

I want to conclude here by quoting some rules, which are actually,

“PLAYROOM Rules”

These Rules said;

  1. Everyone is welcome
  2. Be kind to one another
  3. Laugh, Play, and Dance
  4. Say Please and Thankyou
  5. Use kind words
  6. Take care of your Toys
  7. And Have Fun

Here I want to relate the whole idea of Do this, You will be welcome everywhere! with these 7 rules. We should always follow these rules in our daily lives too to welcome others and on the other hand “You will be welcome everywhere!”

Thank you for being here!

Umar Junaid

Written by

Artist| FTS@Chartered Accountancy(CA)| ICAP| Humanitarian| Humble♡

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade