Chapter 2

Keep Being A Child

In his most recent video Alexander talks about the difference between children and grownups. And what a person must do to nurture and guard this feeling of being a child – naive and living in the moment. How when you were a kid, you didn’t think or worry about anything, you could be in the playground for hours without even noticing it. And then your parent would come and get you, because before your personality is formed and your mind matured, your parents are the ones who take care of your routine. You, as a child, don’t need to think about what time do you have to eat or go to sleep, because someone is going to make sure you are fed and put to bed on time.

And then gradually a child takes on different responsibilities, he or she has to think and remember classes, lunch times, and then the list to be in control of grows, and the child matures.. by gaining experience, good or bad, this child learns to assess the situation, to judge and follow a routine. Now, before making a decision, there are so many things to take into consideration, that the chance of being spontaneous is extremely low.

And that’s when you end up living in a groundhog day, and instead of doing something spontaneous aka childish grownups find excuses to stick to their routine. They will give you any reason possible to keep their comfort zone and not to do anything out of the ordinary.

How to escape this vicious cycle and feel a bit more free again? There are simple steps one can take.

One is to spend more time with kids, and not just entertaining them or controlling them, but listening to them, trying to understand how their mind works and maybe understand what’s keeping you, as a grownup, from thinking the same. Why are you so restrained in your own actions?

Two is to be more spontaneous. Spontaneity such as buying a plane ticket somewhere and just going on a trip, without planning. Planning and assessing all risks, downsides and advantages even in the simplest everyday actions is what keeps you in your Groundhog Day.

Three is to do something out of the ordinary (not illegal though). Something like laying on the floor and looking at the sealing, sitting on the floor and playing with your dog. Let your dog walk all over you – be free! When was the last time you climbed a tree?

Four is to be around creative, artistic people. Since they have less boundaries and stereotypes in their minds, they are less conservative and stiff, which means that by communicating with them person can unlearn to control everything and regain some of his or her freedom.

And also watching movie The Hook (1991), and although it is fiction, it illustrates how Peter Pan stopped believing in miracles and lost his inner child by having a job, having responsibilities, so that eventually he had no time to spend with his kids, he yelled at them and was always on his phone (sounds familiar?), and then how by remembering his childhood, he could be playful again, be fun and happy.

Growing up is when you stop dreaming, when you start doubting yourself. You restrict yourself from being capable of something bigger, something more important. Your actions are often led by fear, fear of failure or other people’s opinion.

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