Just the tip
My divorce has left me seeking validation from anyone. It’s left me trying to make sure I do my best and I have to communicate with those I care for and for those I love. Thru the end of my marriage and for the first couple of months, I had K in my life. She was young, cute worked at a hospital and connected with me. We talked about anything. She broke down my emotional walls. She taught me to cry and it was ok to do so. I hadn’t really cried since my 6 or 7 years when my Ex Father In Law passed away. She helped me channel some of my needs and wants and helped me find some outlets to blow off some steam. We split because her family wouldn’t approve of me and it was wasn’t worth all the lies.
That was probably March or so. I dug myself into a very deep dark depression. My sleeping pill Ambien had a huge hold on me and even in the littlest of doses would keep me zombie like for 16 hours or so. I never noticed the difference too much. I met and fell in love with P in August and we just rolled along. We didn’t spend much time together when I was supposed to be getting up or going to bed so she never really saw the drugs have their hold on me. Just after Thanksgiving I was pulled into a conference room for a talk/intervention at work. They knew my divorce and losing my dogs was messing with my head but I did have someone new in my life but my work wasn’t getting better. they basically said I had 30 days to get my life turned around or I would be let go from the company.
I made adjustments immediately. I removed Ambien from my nightly meds as well as made a huge effort to turn things around. I became more friendly and helpful with my coworkers and more outgoing with projects at work. It was basically a 180 degree turn around from who I was just 30 days before. I wasn’t ready to quit or be fired. If I leave my job, it will be my terms and not theirs.
