Tit-le.

Tit-le (titli) means butterfly. Tit-le is a pun made out of Title and does not suit this story (because it’s not about a butterfly, sorry).

When I was a kid I used to buy a fish aquarium toy. It had a reel of fishes in it, it would start spinning around as soon as you plug its wire in a socket. Spin around. Spin around, just like your thoughts do as you grow up or spin around like your surroundings do when you’re dizzy. When I was a kid I also hated how movies or books were named after the main character but as I grew up, I understood that they do it because it seems classy but no way ‘Cinderella’ or ‘Little Red Ridding Hood’ seem classy. There are things you start to like that you hated back in your childhood (or vice versa) but there are questions and thoughts that you never ask anyone, never share with everyone, never bring them in front of somebody.

Questions like why your grammar and punctuation needs to be fully correct before you write or speak. Languages are/were created to express yourself, so you can communicate with someone, start a conversation, tell what you think, your opinion, your thoughts, convey it to somebody. Then why do you have to be perfect at this before hitting a simple “hello”? Why is it not considered perfect as long as the person you’re speaking to understands it?

Thoughts like where would you be if you were not born? Imagination like you rescuing hostages in a building or saving people in a terrorist attack or singing that freedom song in front of the whole school while everyone hoots. Thoughts that lead to the same question every time, imagination that asks you the same thing every day, things and surroundings that make you repeat the same word all the time, “Why?”.

You think about writing and you write a whole world but the moment you take a pen in your hand, everything vanishes. Like there was no world, no imagination, nothing. Hoooossshh, all gone like the wind. You sit in an examination hall, you can think of good answers but when you write you scribble and you scribble again until the paper and your handwriting looks dirty. You talk to yourself, you’re funny; you talk to someone else, you’re dull, boring, shy, lazy.

We end up doing the things we’re warned about;
“Never start a paragraph or a sentence with ‘but’, never.”
“Don’t question or blame someone’s religion.”
“Don’t treat someone badly or misbehave.”
But we misbehave, again and again, we start a paragraph and every other sentence with a ‘but’, we question/blame everyone’s religion, we even question our own faith.

But all these experiences, they build you up, they shape you, they mould you. Build your creativity, shape your attitude, mould your personality. Turn you into something you might like or hate but whatever you do, you’ll have no other choice than to accept it. Because when you accept it, you don’t lose anything, except wealth or property or family or people or things at times.

So, no matter what you go through, if you keep this one sentence in your mind, you’ll pass every situation, every problem, every riddle: “thug life”.

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