Chaos amongst Calm, Disruption amongst Peace. Wait for a second, does it “not” sound right, or does it?
Have you ever felt like you’re suddenly unable to breathe in the middle of your happy moments? Or maybe, just negative thoughts starting like a plague in your mind, polluting the beauty of your beautiful, joyous day, making it difficult to return to that serenity?
I believe every one of us reaches that point of what I call “procrastination of feelings.” We delay or just put off things because we think they’re just going to hinder us, but they end up tearing us and our minds in two, the over-thinking overpowering our “façade of peace.” Now, you might wonder, why am I talking about it? I must be just another one telling you to acknowledge them and blah, blah, blah…
But honestly, I can assure you, that’s not even close to what I will talk about today. Today, I will talk about being there for someone and your chances of being overwhelmed by their emotions. That’s something you might not have thought about, but you should.
We “unheard but loved” people are a tough nut to crack but softies at heart. Since we lend our ears to hear to people all the time: our loved ones, friends, families, or even colleagues, we forget what we think in those moments because it’s the person in front of us that matters. It’s their problem that matters. At times, though, those problems unintentionally stay rooted in our minds because we don’t sit with ourselves anymore, or do we?
I read the above post and wrote something below it. Just read it, and take your time with it, as long as it takes. Now, how many times did you pick up those pieces, hm? That’s what I am talking about.
This could happen to you at any time, with just something as simple as something your colleague shared or your loved ones made you unintentionally feel. That’s when we need to learn to cut off. We unknowingly let their feelings be ours. Their thoughts leave an imprint on us in a way that burdens us. So let me ask: did you ever take time to ask your emotions or insecurities if they’re even truly yours?
When you suddenly feel like crying for no apparent reason, feel a lack of breath in the essence of fresh air, or just are not feeling fruitful when you had plenty of energy, this is something you should ask.
Two tips that I personally have been using over what I call the “worst spell of my life” will “hopefully” help you understand and beat this. Though I am not 100% there myself, I have been growing every day, and the first thing is to know that you’re too, in every way, good or bad. So let’s go, shall we?
Tip 01: Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling something today, especially of all days?”
Don’t stop there. Stay with yourself for the next 10 minutes while you go on to ask, “Did something happen that unconsciously brought me here?” Go over the day, and think about even the simplest of conversations, because, know it or not, sometimes simplicity is also “the trouble.” It could be something as trivial as a joke or even a comment on someone else that you felt like you could relate to. If you can’t pinpoint it, let go of your need for control and let that emotion out, which brings us to Tip 2!
Tip 02: Observe your first thought as soon as you let go.
The key is letting go of control over your mind, body, and emotions and seeing where it takes you. The mind always has its pros and cons, but most of all, it’s programmed to show us trouble more quickly than happiness, most of the time. Though this is the gift of our societal upbringing, it comes as a “boon” in this situation. It brings out precisely what has been troubling you in your first thought. That is right, when you know the key to that emotion.
But what to do with it? Once you know why you feel what you feel, right?
The answer is simple, my “unheard but loved”! Ask yourself, “Is this really your emotion?” Did something happen to you in your past that makes it such a prominent feeling inside you? Trust me, if you can’t find an answer, know that it’s truly not your emotions that you have been carrying in your heart. The next step: think about why it took root in you. Did you give yourself the time to analyze it and let go when it was just at its beginning? If not, then take that time out now, learn from it, and let it go.
But what if it is something that is yours? Then my love, all you need to do is sit with yourself and learn. Take it one step at a time, but start to let it go. Trust me; it’s not a straight curve. You will feel like you desperately want to hold on to it since it’s a part of you, but it would be just stuck into you like a thorn, stinging every now and then, rather than living a pain-free life. Though life can never be “perfectly pain-free,” letting it go makes life a little easier. Don’t you think so?
The Bottom Line: Take that leap, understand, learn, and leave.
My “unheard but loved”: we are always there so much for people that we forget ourselves. Even if we are struggling, I know people like us will always put everyone else’s problems above our own. Sometimes, even though it’s harsh but true, people will not realize our worth, be there with us till they need to be, and then leave us broken and shattered with just pieces of our heart in their wake, but that is where we need to learn and draw a line. Understand why this happened and let those go from our hearts.
Know that if we are strong enough to be there for them when our whole lives are shattering around us and keep them in front of us, we also have the power to let go, learn and never look back. We can pick up our pieces and rise like a phoenix while they realize what they lost with you.
I want you to know even after everything; it was not your fault. Hear me clearly: NOT. YOUR. GODDAMN. FAULT. OKAY? You gave your best, and you know it. Know it when you find mistakes, even when they’re not the reason, but you make them to be in any and all situations.
Be kind to your mind, acknowledge every situation at the end of the day, analyze what happened, and then let it go, one day at a time. I believe, like me, it would help you breathe a little easier with practice.
Amalvee,
An Unheard But Loved, Just Like You ❤
#unheardbutloved #love #relationships #kind #mindfulness #lifestyle #practicehealthyliving
