“there’s nothing left here”

author’s note: i wanted to write something about how i’ve been feeling of late as i continue to experience signs of depersonalisation or losing one’s sense of self in connection with my depression.

last night
thought i would have 
lost it again
meds keep me within
safe boundaries
i must not cross

this morning
thought i should have
lost myself again
each day seems no different
distractions work but
i sit dazed, glassy-eyed
i have nothing

tonight
thought i could have
put this state into words
but none come except for this
depression changes, evolves
deleting souls and all that is
beautiful and precious

till all that’s left is
picking up the pieces
lost in the silence of
gaping emptiness
i wish i knew
how to find me again