It’s Complicated

Wow I have been hearing that phrase everywhere!

Question: “So I here you have someone special in your life?”

Answer: “Yeah….well it’s complicated. So I don’t talk about it.”

Here’s the thing… coming from someone who knows complicated. It’s not. It’s a choice and you have already made it. It doesn’t matter if you are dating someone way older than you or way younger than you… it doesn’t matter if someone has kids or dogs or a house or two heads. Maybe you met on Tinder, Match or something mingle. If you enjoy them and they enjoy you, that’s whats important.

I mean I get it… your relationship might not be the typical boy meets girl … goes out to dinner and start dating. You know they look the same, they are the same religion, have the same education, products of the same culture. If none of those things are you … you are described as complicated. But there are so many words that could be used in place of complicated…. unique… different … special…. interesting.

Honestly coming from one complicated person to another … you just have to let it go. Easier said than done, but if something makes you happy stop making “it’s complicated excuses for it” and enjoy it.

That being said, It helps if you already have thick skin or can find some. People are going to talk about you it. They are going to watch your every move and compare you with others. They are going to ask all sorts of crazy questions and always want to know if you are still together or if you are broken up.

For a while … sometimes a long while… it’s going to feel like you are living in a fish bowl. You feeling normal staring out at all the faces staring in. That’s ok… they are interested because you are unique, different, special and interesting. If this is a true relationship that you are in for the long haul it’s because you have been put together for a bigger purpose.

So if you have kept reading here is my piece of advice. Love who ever your heart feels pulled too even if it’s complicated. If you are pulled into a “it’s complicated relationship” make sure you keep God, Allah, Yahweh in the center and keep going. Live out loud and let people watch. You have been called to be complicated and show people that complicated is beautiful at the same time it’s a hot mess.

He has called you to break down barriers, open eyes and answer so many questions. Follow the call. Stopping avoiding it, hiding from it or being ashamed of it. If you keep God, Allah, Yahweh in the center no matter what the ending the experience will be amazing.

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Originally published at on July 27, 2016.

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