Alternate Signs of Spring
1. Cars camouflaged in pollen.
2. Robins fucking in the front yard.
3. Remembering what produce tastes like.
4. Girls at the grocery store looking like they’re dressed for Coachella.
5. Iced coffee consumption outpaces water.
6. The squidgy feeling you get from enjoying teenage boys/girls running half naked at your age.
7. Winter toes require flip-flop breaking-in period.
8. Uncomfortable awareness of race during pedicure.
9. Short-lived intention to wear sunscreen every day.