Alternate Signs of Spring

If my babies were this ugly, I wouldn’t be home either.

1. Cars camouflaged in pollen.

2. Robins fucking in the front yard.

3. Remembering what produce tastes like.

4. Girls at the grocery store looking like they’re dressed for Coachella.

5. Iced coffee consumption outpaces water.

6. The squidgy feeling you get from enjoying teenage boys/girls running half naked at your age.

7. Winter toes require flip-flop breaking-in period.

8. Uncomfortable awareness of race during pedicure.

9. Short-lived intention to wear sunscreen every day.

10. Happiness.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.