So after the first few years of living in hell I had to admit, things were not really going to plan. Not only was i broke, i was broken. My life was a crazy whirlwhind of emotions and scary events. Being the homless father of four kids and a beautiful wife was not the life i had inteneded to build for my family. After a decade of serving my country i was diagnosed with PTSD and eventually kicked out of the army.

They called it medically discharged but everyone knows it’s because they have no use for you any more.

I could live with that. After all i really was becoming a problem for the green machine and i was developing my own set of opinions.

So after struggling to deal with the nightmare of emotions and demons i was carrying around i did the only sane thing any ex armed forces guy would do.

I hit the bottle! Hard!

Now for a few years i was a complete arsehole. Im not scared to tell you this truth becasue i learned a lot about myself in those years of real mental health illness. I discovered that i was not perfect. (i know go figure)

I discovered that i was not as strong as He-Man and i was not as cool as my ego believed. I was the victim.

Not of my illness. But of myself.

My mind was losing the battle of it’s life and i was losing control of my ego. I truly felt as if i was owed some kind of special treatment. Some kind of special understanding from the people arround me. What an idiot. I figured out in the end that my illness was not the problem. I was. And i had a very crazy experience about 10 years into my battle with PTSD that changed the directoin of my life forever.

I realized that without me my illness was nothing. And without my illness i could never truly understand the depths of my own psyche. Not in this unique way at least.

I was uncovering a new way of looking at life. For the first time i could see how importnat my illness was to me. It became my gift. No longer an illness to beat me down or cause me to lose my mind. It was a freeing experience because it allowed me access to an area of my inner humanity that i never understood before.

I felt for the first time in my life that i could live free from medication and instead of turning to doctors and psychiatrists i could turn to my self for advice and direction.

I uncovered three distinct lessons during those years. And they have not only helped me but they have helped thousands of people i have had the priviledge of speaking to about PTSD.

More than medicine, we need meaning.

More than prescription we need purpose.

More than diagnoses we need direction.

I hope you realize that mental health is as much of a journey into freedom as it can be a jailer of feelings and emotions. There is as much yang to PTSD as there is Ying.

Be free, live strong and never give up fighting for something special.

If you found value in this article it would mean the world to me if you shared it

Im a veteran who has not only lived through this illness, but i am the UK’s foremost expert on how to uncover the strength it takes to live free from PTSD. If you would like to get in touch with me or just to chat, you can find me every day over at www.fb.com/unspokenwounds

My new book is coming out soon, Shhhh don’t tell anyone. TELL EVERYONE! ☺

Love,

Steve