I Suck Souls: A Running Log of All the Times I Lost My Souls in Dark Souls 3

1.) My first major loss of souls was an inglorious one. I was throwing myself at the zombie on the roof that suddenly morphs into a demon and kills all of his undead buddies. I had not yet figured out you could kill him before he transformed. I was rolling around, trying to get behind this asshole (it’s hard to tell what’s “behind” as his tentacles of darkness are flailing around) when I died for the first time. I think I may have rolled off the roof, but I don’t remember? But anyway I respawned at the Tower on the Wall bonfire and started mechanically slashing away at the dregs in the tower below. And one of those low-lifes just wouldn’t die. I hit him three times to no effect. To my horror I discovered I had accidentally hit the right directional pad button somehow and did not have a weapon equipped. I was just smacking this hollow in the face. I tried to reequip my scimitar but it was too late.

And that is how I lost all of my souls for the first time in Dark Souls 3.

2.) I’ve been trying out a dual-wielding scimitar build. It hasn’t been going completely smoothly: I’ve been dying a lot more without my trusty shield up and at the ready. But it looks cool, and I’m hoping I learn how to dodge more effectively from it. At this point I was still continuing to die against that demon-zombie thing on the roof. So I respawned at the Tower on the Wall, strolled downstairs, and started taking out the undead on my path to him. But something misfired, and the two undead at the bottom of the stairs mobbed. Since I had nothing to block them with, they slashed my character to bits.

3.) I was carving a path to the cathedral directly opposite the Lothric Wall boss. The knights in this area are pretty tough, and just one of them alone can easily kill you. Spoiler: one of them did. But I made sure to retreat beforehand and die in an easily accessible place. It should have been an easy soul retrieval. But that’s when things went horribly wrong. I respawned at the first bonfire and took the shortcut to the cathedral behind it. I killed the bone dogs on the way and then aggroed the guy carrying the halberd. But then the asshole carrying an axe on the stairs to the left noticed me also and I had a SITUATION. I had to deal with Mr. Halberd and Mr. Axe at the same time. I retreated up the stairs back towards the bonfire, hoping to funnel them into one place and maximize damage against both. That worked for a few hits, but at the one of them managed to land a hit on me and then the other started wailing on me. My screams pierced the air as I was mercilessly cut down.

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