The Lover and The Loneliness

She was the sunshine and the rain

The joy with all the pain

Because the deeper I fell, the more the thought of losing her tormented me.

So I spiraled ever downward through this tornado of bliss and grief;
One more tortured soul in a sea of tortured souls.

For surely one of these days she will wake up and see me for the undeserving wretched man that I am and she will leave.

She will leave
She will leave
She will leave

Good Lord, have mercy;

She will leave me

And I cannot live if she leaves, I cannot take it, I will not.

What is life without the sweet caress of her touch?

What is purpose when she is away?

This incarnation of all that is right with my world, there is no life without her.

So nights when she is with me, I maybe hold on too tight, pull her too close, hover a little too much.

So what if I call two or ten times every time she strays where my hands cannot touch and my eyes cannot follow?

"Do you not see?
Do you not see?

All that you are to me and how the thought of losing you claws at my sanity"

She does not see, sweet Jesus she does not.

She tells me I need to get a hold of myself

Tells me a love like this cannot be healthy

As if anything outside of this matters

As if she did not lure me in with every kiss

As if she could not tell, the moment that I plunged into her depths that I had reached the point of no return.

As if she did not snatch a piece of my soul every time she rode me into the sunset.

As if the fire in her eyes had not since burned everything that I was outside of her.

As if there could ever be a me without her.

As if I could let her exist without me.

So one day I take her out to her favorite place in the world.

I buy her everything that she loved but could never afford.

I tell her that nothing could put a price on our love.

I take her home and cook her favorite meal.

I pour her wine.
I light candles;
and bring her flowers
and thank all the gods
for this thing of ours

This universe of all that is holy and all that is good and all that is right and all that is bliss and all that she is.

I dim the lights and pull her close;
the lyrics to our favorite song playing softly in the background as we curl up together by the fire.

Before long our eyelids get too heavy to keep open as the poison begins to take effect

A lazy smile plays on her lips as she nestles in against me

Almost as if she could never be close enough

Like she wants to be a part of me, like we were always meant to be.

I smile and pull her closer still, as our heartbeats slow

All was right with the world

Us at our best.
In death


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