Why Others Opinion Are Shit

There’s a question, probably most of us would have heard at least once in our life, some people probably think of it every day, i.e. “What would society think?”

This is the question which changes our lives or defines it, the way we think, the way we act, the steps we take, the self-sabotage we do, the justifications we give. We have been caught up by this question that we have almost lost the will to think for ourselves.

I was depressed, alone and thinking of what I did wrong, why every thing was going wrong. I’ve always been a good child, got good grades till my high school. Why did I try to propose someone, tried to fall in love just to get hurt and lose all my confidence, I just passed my 12th by then but I didn’t do good in competitive exams so was stuck with no good options for college.

Adding to the pressure was the comments of my family and relatives, calling me to ask “what happened?”. The expectations were all down the gutter and mahn! looking back I think that was the best thing ever happened to me. I realized how quick the people opinion change when even the parents who know us better than anyone else does not have a fixed opinion about us, how can we expect others to have either good or bad opinion and they stand by that.

People change and that too so very fast, for e.g. I’m a big fan of X Factor, I watch each and every show of it. After watching so many episodes I’ve come to a conclusion you can never guess which course will others action take. In X Factor, there’s a round of “chair challenge” in which chairs are filled with best singers and if someone better comes around then the least one will be swapped by that person. Simple enough?

So, let’s focus on audience, how do they act, first-off they heard a good song they will all shout in chorus “seat..seat..” and the person will thank the crowd for their support but as soon as other better singer comes around the same people will shout “swap..swap..”. It’s heart reckoning sometimes. The person who thought the crowd was with him earlier has changed sides and is now asking for the swap.

The same thing happens in real life, people tend to make a certain baseline for your activities which the deem fit according to their views, culture and how they have been brought up. And when you go below or up they start commenting. But it’s not that simple, there’s another variable that’s another person who has some similarities with you say you’re in the same class, same jobs, same aspirations etc then they judge and compare you with that person in mind. So what does all this actually means.

The conclusion which comes out of all this is:

  1. People opinions are nothing but a baseline they have created for us in their minds.
  2. Naturally, they start comparing different people of same age group or certain actions which they personally think is right choice to go forward in life for that group. (e.g. getting a job in college, if you don’t then you wasted your time there)
  3. People opinion are volatile, it will flow away in seconds.
  4. Don’t base your life on others opinion for you because everybody have different bias and different judging criteria you can never fit all.
  5. Also, you got to learn not to give a fuck to those who let you down, there are many who will be against your actions most of the time even your close one’s but it’s you who have to decide what to pursue.

I will end it by a short observation, I have a friend let’s call her X. (she’s real btw). So X never talked with me in front of her friends. I was amazed by it how she ignored me when she was in the group even when I walk right by her. So, I asked her to understand what was the problem and the answer was “her friend will make fun of her asking lots of questions, about me and probably will make stories”.

She was so afraid of others opinion, in this case, her friend’s opinion that she thought it was best to avoid any connection outside and just talk when alone. Many of us are like this, afraid to wear funky clothes, reading or writing when everybody is having fun, being different. We all try so hard not to have the bad opinion of others that we change ourselves and we keep on changing ourselves till when we can’t even realize our older free self with no worries, who wanted to dream and do something amazing in life.

You’re the only one who have the power to challenge your inner self that you will not give a fuck to others or change yourself till you become average enough that you become invisible and non-existent to avoid any criticism.

I’ve been on both sides and believe me, the earlier one is better, When you live freely, wear what you like, do what you want and making your own choices and achieving something. People opinions are ever-changing and certainly not define you, you’re awesome, don’t give a shit to others opinion.

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