My Parents Left it All to Be Here

Left it all behind…

Tears of fear and loss roll down young faces, 40 years behind the slight grin on mine.

A direct flight to New York City from Moscow, 40 years behind a flight to Los Angeles from New York City.

I am lucky.

I’ve always been my mother. Sleeves made of emotions, high highs, low lows. Big dreams.

But what did she leave behind to allow this life? Friends, wealth, comfort, purpose?

All of the above.

It’s in my blood to leave it all behind. The nomadic id dwelling in the back of my mind, knowing a time will come.

I am on the other side already. Leaving behind what I do not want, a life, a job, a monotony that drives me mad.

For me it is a choice.

A choice that stems from great sacrifice and persecution. Only aware when I ask questions and see pain behind her eyes.

Down to the wire; a number of seconds, a friend of a friend, separates me from a life of limits, a life with a low ceiling.

Blue sky.

Dreaming of freedom. Chasing the sun to Los Angeles. Writing songs for a living, saying goodbye to comfort.

It’s the ultimate existential solution. Given the gift of choice, why choose anything else but what my gut tells me is purpose.

Mother and Father.

Calling at me to be great. Sensitive to life’s inequality. Allowing me to fall on my own. A small taste of my future.

It’s hard for them understand why I choose discomfort over comfort, when they gave it all, for me to live easy.


Their sacrifice motivates me to chase the fear. Their strength has trickled down, like a moonshine of confidence.

A neon sign guiding my actions from the inside. They left if all behind, for me to have it all. A haven of choices.