Ideas #180

I am currently sitting in the library of Front Range Community College in Longmont, Colorado. I have just begun the fall semester here and I am taking 4 classes. I have to be here from 9am to 5pm on Mondays and Wednesdays for the next 15 weeks. Its going to be a grind. But I know I can do it. I just have to focus and really put in some serious effort. It will not be easy but I will get through it.

My goal is to transfer to the University of Colorado next semester. I have already been accepted but I decided to take classes here at Front Range because it is more cost effective. My parents are generously paying for this whole school thing so I thought I should give them as much of a break as possible. My brother is going to Cal Poly in San Louis Obispo, California and I can only imagine how much that costs.

Sometimes I think college is bullshit. Actually, a lot of the time I think its bullshit. But I am doing it anyway because I live in America and I want to get a degree like the rest of the people I am surrounded by. When I say that it sounds bad. It sounds like I am just doing it because everyone else is doing it. Which in a sense is kind of true. I am doing it because it is the norm. Its what you do. So I’ll keep plugging along.

But when I sit in the classrooms and when I walk through the halls I can almost feel the fact that I am different from these people. The average student isn’t like me. They don’t make things, they don’t question things and they certainly don’t have dreams and aspirations similar to mine.

A lot of people just want money. They want a good job and a nice car. When they get these things they think they will be happy. Well, usually they end up unhappy but stuck in a rut that they can’t get out of. I want to avoid this scenario. I don’t care so much about a job or a car or a lot of money. I just need enough to live comfortably and do the things I want. So far, for the most part I have worked hard and had enough to live a comfortable and privileged life. I am eternally grateful for this. But, I strive for more. I am never satisfied and I want to keep learning and improving myself as a person.

I’ll keep doing this school thing until I’m done but meanwhile I’ll continue making things, writing, learning and growing. Because I think it is pretty obvious by now that this school path is not particularly inspiring to me. What I look forward to is the day that I finish and I am able to say that I did it. That I accomplished the goal of getting the degree and finishing what I started. Until then, the grind continues.

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