Poor Is In

A few days ago I was in the middle of lengthy op-ed, which even now I think is still too bougie a term for Facebook, but in either case, I was. It was called “Poor is In”. I later deleted it when my thumbs got too sore to finish and I started losing my train of thought.

While I often joke that I’m a sprained ankle away from having to live in a Brazilian favela, it still resonates in a way that’s soberingly true. Nah, y’all can go kayaking. Ausdawg’s staying in the house where it’s safe. There’s literally a 0% chance of me tipping over and drowning to death if I stay in bed. Though if I die, that’ll be my LAST phone bill. ‪#‎tempting‬

I looked around and thought to myself, I really don’t have it that bad. I’m typing this on a relatively new MacBook. My iPhone is in good working condition. I have a car. I even remember one time I was giving a person a ride home and she says “How do you afford these things? Do your parents help you out?” I told her I’m 26…No. I’m alone alone. “Then how do you get by with your one job?”. You know, I wonder that too. Sacrifice? Bringing my own guac to Chipotle? Not going to Chipotle at all? Having a glass of water and imagining myself as a quadriplegic who has to sip his make believe Chipotle through a straw?

When Obama took office in 2008, I and many other’s thought it was going to be raining fist bumps and flamin hots. Fast forward to 2016, I saw a video of First lady Michelle Obama this morning and out loud said “holy shit, has she always been this hott!!?? How have I not noticed this? Where have I been? No, WAIT…What have these guys been doing!!??”

That’s when I realized, I think I too might be too poor for pop culture.

Granted my attitude to most anything that’s not “gettinismoney” is greeted with eye rolls and deaf ears, I also don’t really have the time to get involved. I’d like to, but I can’t. Politics and opinions are for the rich. Hell, politics are opinions. Nothing’s more upsetting than watching C-Span and seeing 40 dressed up dudes sitting at mahogany tables discussing bullshit for an hour and then walk away with more money than I can fathom under the guise of working for the people.

I’m not mad at the rich. I’m not even mad at being poor, It’s kinda fun. It took a long time for me to realize it, but the difference between the two really is a state of mind. How you utilize your time while on either side of the spectrum ultimately determines your fate.

Being poor is fun in a lot of ways. Getting ahead or falling behind becomes a synergetic dance much like learning to drive a stick shift where your life is constantly trying to stay in the sweet spot. I didn’t care for it much when I was younger, but these days I LOVE hearing stories where one DIDNT spend money, or how they went to the bar and somehow got drunk af and only spent $7. Every second hand story I hear of a cent being saved is a like heroin to my reckless financial inhibitions.

Yo ausdawg, I saved hella cash last night.

-how?

Jerked off before I went to the bar. Turns out I didn’t wanna go at all.

-ooo that’s good.

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