Oh, Yes, Trump — The Patron Saint of Equality

Image by Mike Lickt/Flickr

Earlier this week, Donald Trump refused to renounce white nationalist and former KKK leader David Duke, who officially endorsed the GOP presidential candidate. I mean, why should he have to? According to him, “there is no one that has done so much for equality” than he has.

Yep. The first thing I think of when I hear “Donald Trump” is humanitarian.

Oh, wait. I meant barbarian.

Like when 200 undocumented Polish immigrants were hired off the books to tear down the Bonwit Teller building in New York City in order to make room for his Trump Tower and worked 12-hour shifts, seven days a week, for $5 an hour or less.

That’s not equality — that’s illegality.

But, but, but, Donnie cries, I didn’t know at the time that I had hired illegal immigrants!

You would think someone who claims to care so fervently about immigration would do all he could as the CEO of a company to ensure all of his workers are legal citizens.

Trump triumphs, however, and bathes in his righteousness because he has single-handedly served all of the immigrants in the United States by talking about the issue and bringing it to light!

“If it weren’t for me,” Trump proudly claimed at the GOP debate on February 25, “illegal immigration wouldn’t even be a big issue.”

See?! Humanity!

No, wait. Insanity.

The Donald also pats himself on the back for his very inclusive Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach that is “totally open to everybody,” as he stated on Good Morning, America this past Tuesday.

For a paltry $100,000 initiation fee (and nearly $10,000 in yearly fees), anyone can be a member of Trump’s club that “provides the highest privileges and an elite lifestyle reserved for a select few.”

Photo from Maralagoclub.com

That’s right. The club’s own website states that the establishment, which boasts fine European dining, an oceanfront swimming pool, a luxurious salon and spa, and six championship tennis courts, is only for a select lucky few.

So what doesn’t the club have that Trump is boasting about?

An explicit policy excluding racial or ethnic or religious minorities.

Aww! Look at this saint!

He truly is honoring Martin Luther King Jr. and all the many other civil rights leaders by carrying on their legacy of fighting for equality, opening up his exclusive clubs to anyone who can afford them, and hiring illegal workers and paying them a few dollars an hour.

Thank you, Trump. You really are a winner.

Oh, wait. I meant LOOOOOOSER.