MAYRA- A GIFTING RITUAL?

Mayra play a very crucial role in the Hindu wedding festivities and ceremonies. This is a function, which to me is an extended version of dowry. it is a ritual wherein the bride/groom’s maternal family is welcome by her sister’s family with much fanfare. The maternal uncle, along with his family, then gifts clothes, jewellery and sweets to the entire family of her sister signifying his pledge to share the financial burden of the wedding expenditure.

The main reason behind this was in ancient times women has no right on their fathers property, it automatically goes to her brothers. Therefore at the weddings of his niece/nephew, it is expected that the ‘Mama’ shows a great deal of generosity and plays a supportive role. This ceremony, Mayra is a confirmation of this support.

A brother-sister relation is that of protection, support and mutual dependency. And hence it is the duty of the brother to stand by her sister in all major and minor events of her life.

In ancient time it is a support to the bride and groom for their better life or future.Because in that time the child get married at early age and the groom is not able to earn money, so this is for their better life and fucture.

But the social pressure that has increasingly been attached with this function is disgraceful. Moreover all the gifts are put on display for relatives and guests to see how ‘open heartedly’ they have been gifted. At this position, I have some questions. Why is there a need to plan a wedding that cannot be financed by one’s own means? And even if the brother is willing to help, why is there the need for such public display?

Now a days this ritual became a tradition.it is bondness for a brother to help her sister in her children marriage by giving Mayra due to social pressure. It is something that not only digs a hole in your pocket but at the end turn out to be a complete show-off event where the presence of any emotion is weighted in terms of the amount of money you have spent on your sister and her family?

When I brought this issue in front of my elders, there were strange answers and explanations. People say that if it is in your capacity then why one should not help. But what is the proof of this willingness?It is the ‘what will society say’ attitude that is actually into functioning?

And if it is actually something related with the support and love theory of the relationship, then they must not check the number of zeroes penned down on the cheque book?

I am not advocating for a complete abolishment of this custom. But if the whole concept is based on money, then there is nothing that can be done to prove your love beyond it. It is upon us to realize what we really want to do. now a days their must be no Mayra because every women has a legal right from her parental property as well as man.So now there is no need of help from her family .Choking the meaning of such a warm relation by the hands of material exchange and show off, or to nurture it with mutual respect and trust? Remember, that the best help is one that is done without any aspiration for acclaim.