Letters to my future self: Part 1
To,
Future me
I read it somewhere, please don’t rely on my memories for all these articles even though I never published an article before but I am adding ‘s’ because I am sure I will start sharing some of it very soon, let’s just break this thought and come back to what I read, so basically… well…
Oh, that’s great, I told you not to rely on my memory…
I forgot it, it’s lost, the idea… like smoke and puff, you had it and it’s gone. But in that process, at least you have control over it till you last your last breath but losing an idea is not like that, it’s dark sometimes. It opens up your demons to you, it shows how it feels to be blank and not thinking about anything at all.
When you spend some time with it, you realized it’s nothing, it was you talking to yourself sharing some realizations about life. Isn’t it interesting meeting yourself? And sharing something worthy to understand and face the truth that you’re mortal and you should do something about it because your genes will carry only a part of you. You will not survive more than the next 30–40 years, I hope human will be able to reach an average age of 80–90 years till that time.
So ultimately my fear of death is not rational thought and now the question is ‘do I fear death? really?’
I will fear something which I know, like human… they are capable of doing so many things, their imagination is the limit. Look what have they achieved in the past 100 years, I was the part of a few changes and it was so fast that our brain doesn’t keep up with everything as in collectively we are doing great but individually we are more vulnerable now, we don’t know a shit about that technological part, how did they do it? it’s not magic, it’s there but it needs effort and so much consciousness that most of the human just leave that part for a few people to solve.
Even though I don’t understand that part too, not so deep enough to be the part of it but I can understand the progress and overview of it, I know I should give it more time so I can get involved in it but some other thing keeps me busy, reading so many different things which I don’t know when will it help me. I just came to know yesterday that Carl Jung has shared a theory on the correlation between attention and self,
your future self monetizing your present in some way to make your future better,
it’s a beautiful representation of attention and why you get hooked to some books, music or people…
Oh, damn people, don’t wanna go there, it’s always hard to understand human than a book… I don’t know why they behave like that even though everything is just like water and showing their own reflection but our anger, grief, ego or don’t know what to call it but something, that keeps them away from it, seeing themselves.
That’s why I prefer art, reading and adding writing in my life just like I added guitar… oh great this family is growing since I started cultivating some new knowledge through our world wide web.
I cruse myself why did I stop writing on my tech blog, I was an early mover back than, we all 3–4 people. We were trying hard for money instead of sailing an idea, we just shifted our direction whenever it felt that this way will lead to some short term gain to survive and there we lost the idea, real idea…
Now I don’t rely on my memory so I crate notes, try to visualize things and design it if possible. It’s a pretty interesting process and music too, it has something for me or maybe I have something for it… and if things are like that then I must do something about it rather than procrastinating, very soon I will be starting to lose it. My age will make me rigid towards new ideas because I would not be able to keep the idea in my mind so I will lay down with my already created memory to understand the world which will make me rigid towards the changes.
Well I hope, it will not happen but it’s a gradual process, even I will not be able to track it. It will come like December’s cold night, will stay here till I last just like smoke, puff till you can hold your breath.
I was wondering if I could write and look I am writing in such a way that I can rhyme it, oh great, fascinating… I should do it more often.
I think I am loosing it, I am at the loss of words again… It’s 3.13 am and the weather is quite nice here in Bangalore, at night, especially at night, more pleasurable when it is raining… it’s not really a pleasure for me anymore, raining is…
Oh it’s great, I forgot what I wanted to write to complete the above sentence… I’m gonna leave a note for future me, do something about your memory!
I apologize for losing that idea from where I started it, it was a rollercoaster ride and it stopped because it’s already Friday & I will have to go to the office to visualize some interesting icons, illustration, and daydreams,
by the way, I have it again that idea, never start writing from a weather report, here I followed it unconsciously and I was saying, my memory is weak and unreliable.
Sometimes I fall in love with myself, like I hide some money (just like that note), actually enough of it for myself to find it in the future and it really makes me happy when I unconsciously reach back to that place and find it again, like a gift for a child in cold December from Santa.
Fuck it, I’m gonna sleep!
From,
Sleepy you
