Advocacy: Build Authentic Relationships

As I read through Reclaiming Our Democracy by Sam Daley-Harris this week, I was struck by a prayer, originally written by Newton Hightower and adapted by RESULTS in reaction to a discouraging vote by Pat Swindall. This prayer is not directed to God but rather to ourselves. By changing our own view of persons who discourage us, we can go on to build authentic relationships with those same people.

“Thank you, God, for Pat Swindall. We know he is a good man who wants to do right in the world. We know he struggles with the same problems we do: closing our hearts to those who don’t agree with us. There are no thoughts or feelings that he has had that we haven’t had and vice versa.

“We pray for all of us to learn compassion for people in our country and far away, for rich and poor. We pray that Pat and we will be less frightened of each other. We pray our focus will be more to love and appreciate him and less to change him. Help us to remember that sharing love with the world is the highest contribution we can make and will lead to children being fed and the planet surviving.

“Forgive our righteousness and anger. Open our hearts and minds to find the next expression of love for Pat that he can receive.”1

This prayer was read at each meeting for a period of time. After a while, their sense of Pat Swindall changed. When other advocates expressed anger, RESULTS members smiled and shook Pat’s hand. Pat gradually became more receptive of their messages. Two years later, that same Republican, Pat Swindall, co-sponsored microenterprise legislation and asked the RESULTS member to write an op-ed about it for his column.

Forming relationships with people in power is critical to affecting change in government, but it is best done with love and positive interaction.

1. Reclaiming Our Democracy: Every Citizen’s Guide to Transformational Advocacy, by Sam Daley-Harris, (Irvington NY: Riverton Books, 2024) p. 152.

Submitted by Teresa Wilmot