(Before you start reading, I am writing this because I just want to get things off my chest. I have not “planned” what to write nor I’m writing things for sympathy or attention. I’m just gonna write whatever the fuck I want to write hoping I would feel mentally better.)
Its probably august or september of 2020, people seem to give lesser fucks about the china virus. I remember talking about covid myself, “corona? Just take a paracetamol bro, covid is a hype!”, I remember telling someone. Everything seems normal, everyone back to their normal routines, politicians don’t seem to care, basically nobody cares about the pandemic anymore.
Before we continue let me tell you who I am. I’m usually the kind of a person who can take in anything. There are things in the past that I feel have dealt with ,where others would probably have a mental breakdown. You get the idea. I don’t usually care whats not in my control, try to think rationally as far as possible, don’t worry about anything for too long. I don’t know if it’s a good thing but that’s me.
Its May 2nd, Sunday today. Never in my life was so uncertain. Twenty year olds, thirty years old are dying outside. I feel really weird. I don’t know what it is, but “weird” is apt. I honestly thought covid was “just” fever and cold. But today I feel really powerless, I’m sure you do too!. Calls after calls for ICUs, oxygen and remdesivir. But you just sit there powerless!!
Lots of people I know, friends and relatives have tested positive. When the phone rings, you pray to god , hoping its not bad news. But this morning we get a call, my grandmothers brother who was hospitalized for a couple of days, died. My uncle who himself is a doctor and owns a hospital tested positive(thankfully is better now)
My dad who I consider all mighty and powerful usually never gets bogged down for anything. But today after hearing the news of passing away of his uncle, he was helpless. This was the person who he shared a great bond with. He was helpless not majorly because of his death, but because there is nobody there with him, nobody except two people to say last goodbye. I have seen my father deal with a lot of things with zeal and zest, without ever backing down on anything. But today he was powerless. There was absolutely nothing he could do!
At this point money seems meaningless, you ideologies are meaningless , your religion is meaningless , your opinion meaningless.
One thing I have learnt from this pandemic is, never take anything for granted.
I do not know how to end this.
I really hope everything gets back to normal, I really do.