Can Menopause Spoil Your Relationship?

Can menopause spoil your relationship? I am afraid the answer is yes! That happens if necessary, measures are not taken. The last decade has seen the rate of divorce among menopausal couples trebled and surprisingly most of these have been filed by the menopausal women. As you listen to the narratives among the men whose wives are going through menopause, then you realize there is an information gap as many men do not understand just why their wives of so many years have transformed to become a ‘monster’ in the house. To start with, men complain that women at this stage are irritable, anxious, grumpy, forgetful, and not approachable and would not want anything called sex! Unfortunately, the men on the other hand have been enjoying sex and are not ready whatsoever to forego this kind of pleasure. It would have been better if this would be like other diseases which would take a week and then they would resume the sex life; menopause could last up to 10 years! 10 years of no sex, irritability from the woman and grumpiness is not easy. In addition, some of the couples could be having other issues to deal with; adolescent children who can be unruly, financial responsibilities and diseases! All these could be so hard to process for one person. There are some who have confessed to having been driven to have an affair with a younger woman while others have ultimately failed to keep their marriage vows, ‘for better or for worse…in sickness and in health’ and have ended their marriages. Most of these men would often regret later as having an affair or even ending a marriage for which one worked on for many years to even raise children comes with more heartache for all parties involved especially the children.

As I listen to the tales from every menopausal man and woman, it is apparent many couples would have a better relationship during this time if they were better informed. So let us take a look at some of the changes to expect during menopause from your woman.

Changes in menopause
1. Vagina dryness

Menopause is a period that marks the transition of a woman’s life from being pre-menopausal to being menopausal. This transition is characterized by a fluctuation in the amounts of estrogen hormones that are secreted in the body. Estrogen plays a critical role in ensuring that the vagina is well lubricated, that it is elastic and thick. A drop in estrogen levels leads to the vagina being dry, less elastic and thin. This means that whenever a woman has intercourse, it becomes painful due to the dryness and less elasticity. In addition, penetration would mean tearing on the tissues and walls of the vagina that could lead to immense pain and bleeding for the woman. This means that whenever she is asked for sex, the woman relates the sex experience to pain and she would no longer want to have sex. Abstinence from sex at this point only increases the problem as the vagina becomes thinner and shorter if not used for sex for a long time. The lack of progesterone on the other hand, reduces the urge for sex for women. 
We encourage couples to start by talking about the changes that the woman is going through. It is more probable that if the couple intimates on the issues affecting each one of them, they not only boost their trust levels but they now form a formidable team that will address this challenge for their marriage. In addition, it would be good if they would visit with a GP to discuss whatever options that could help like lubricants and moisturizers. Vaginal dryness could easily be overcome; it does not need to spoil any sexual relationship.

2. Irritability, stress and depression
These really affect marriages. Most men would not understand just why their women are irritable, stressful and in depression. This strains communication in marriages so that the man is not able to approach the woman because of being frequently put off. Some men often are not sure if they are the cause of this foul mood or there is another underlying reason. This drives many men to find solace in conversing with other women who would be welcoming enough for a talk. Coupled with lack of sex, some men opt for having affairs with younger women.

Again for these three, it is important that there is proper communication between the partners in a sexual relationship so that both of them understand what is going on in their marriage. This will help them actively seek for solutions to these challenges. The use of menopause treatments has helped many women alleviate these symptoms. In addition lifestyle changes have played a big role in ending these symptoms; vegan diets, regular exercises and abstinence from alcohol, cigars, drugs and caffeine among others. These lifestyle changes are good for both partners, and if taken jointly, like exercising together it becomes more bounding for the couple. Most of these lifestyle changes have been proven to work tremendously well and will sure work for whoever tries them.

Other menopause symptoms
Other menopause symptoms include: urinary incontinence, insomnia, osteoporosis, headaches, irregular periods, and memory loss.

While menopause is a critical stage, it can be managed to the end that it brings the couple closer and for greater victory for the marriage.


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