An Autumn’s Tale 秋天的童話
Worlds collide and feelings run high as I fall hard for this romantic classic, starring Chow Yun-fat 周潤發 and Cherie Chung 鍾楚紅.
Doing a bit of a pivot here. Still keeping with the Chow Yun-fat 周潤發 (Can’t get enough of dat #chowyunfap), but no bullets, brotherhood, or bloodshed.
An Autumn’s Tale 秋天的童話 holds a very special place in my heart. Both my parents love this movie. They didn’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, but this, THIS, they did. So the sad kid of divorced parents in me hangs on to this tiny semblance of unity in her tight little fists. But it’s also a truly lovely movie without the baggage! I remember it very well, not just bits and pieces of it, and after having watched CYF get killed in the last three movies, I was just stoked to have this in my queue. Something light, soft, and understated. Like a waffle-knit cashmere sweater. A perfect elevated basic and timeless classic.
So I was not expecting it to give me new feelings. Beyond the chemistry between the two leads and their undeniable charm, beyond even any stirrings for a romantic connection or the potential of one, I was struck by the immense joy and satisfaction of watching a Chinese migrant experience just simply exist in harmony with the big city, gritty romanticism of New York in the 1980s. I’m so accustomed to seeing New York through Nora Ephron’s or Woody Allen’s or Sarah Jessica Parker’s eyes — a very white and very bougie way of life that I am very into, and for most of my life, sought after. But now as I’m going through this rediscovery/reconnection with my roots, suddenly witnessing my two worlds co-existing instead of clashing means the world…s to me. And for it to be done in such a quietly alluring and tender way. Ugh. Bravo to Mabel Cheung 張婉婷 and her partner and writer, Alex Law 羅啟銳.
Plot summary from IMDb: …Actually, no. Not pulling from IMDb this time because what they have is not only bad, but also wrong. So, here’s my take:
A young woman moves to the Big Apple to study and reunite with her boyfriend, but must adjust to her new life single with the help of her street smart, wise-cracking distant cousin.
I can hear you guys already. “Wait, wait, wait… so she falls in love with her cousin?! What is this, « Les Cousins Chinois Dangereux » ? You people are sick!” Uh, first: what do you mean ‘you people’?! Also: it’s distant cousin, okay? Chill. She’s like the thirteenth niece of his fourth grandaunt. They may be part of the same tree, but their twigs aren’t even on the same bough. Trust me, I sketched out the family tree to make sure. But, more importantly: CYF and Cherie Chung 鍾楚紅 are just so gosh darn cute together that none of that matters.
(That said, I’m also someone who was more comfortable with Jaime and Cersei as a couple than Daenerys and Jon. Aunt and nephEWWW! Although, if I had siblings, I’d probably have a different opinion.)
Anyway, Cherie Chung 鍾楚紅 — who by the way is just the prettiest; she was nicknamed the “Marilyn Monroe of Hong Kong 香港的瑪麗蓮夢露” — plays Jennifer, a 23-year-old who, after saving up for the past two years, is finally on her way to join her boyfriend, Vincent (played by Danny Chan 陳百強), in New York to study.
Since Danny will be away in Boston when she arrives, her mom has arranged for her distant cousin, Figurehead 船頭尺 (aka “Figgy”, played by CYF) to pick her up at the airport. He’s even found her an apartment! Jennifer assumes he’s probably lame, but her mom informs her that Figurehead is a leader in the Chinatown community. He’s got a place and a car —clearly very successful! He used to be a sailor, which is how he got his name, and only someone important would be given a name like that!
…Except… 「船頭尺」is the plumb line on a ship. But to someone who doesn’t know that, the breakdown of Figurehead’s name kinda feels like this: 「船頭」is the bow of a ship, and 「尺」is… well, a ruler — as in the measuring device — so together, it sounds like he must very important or heck, even probably in charge of the front of the ship, almost like a figurehead! When actually, 「船頭尺」is also slang for someone who’s always asking others for money, since 「度水」can mean either “to measure water” or “to borrow money”. #cantopuns
Sure enough, when we meet Figgy, he’s not as Jennifer’s mom imagines. But she’s not totally wrong either. Like yeah, people in his community do follow him, like his two buddies who tag along with him to the airport.
Of course, their names are also completely absurd and require explanation. There’s Cow (according to the subtitles), but Figgy actually calls him Soy Sauce Dish 豉油碟, as he’s someone who bullshits people all the time/is clueless but wants to appear knowledgeable, like a blind man pointing a stick. (Figgy says:「做人一味靠點。」, where「點」can mean “point” or “dip”, hence, Soy Sauce Dish 豉油碟.) Then there’s Bull (according to the subtitles), whose name can be translated as Broken Umbrella Handle 冇柄遮. Like「船頭尺」,「冇柄遮」is also slang, and it means “to fight to the bitter end, to refuse to admit one is in the wrong.” (As Figgy says:「做人一味死撐。」) Essentially, both Soy Sauce Dish and Broken Umbrella Handle are unreliable/useless, LOL. #cantopuns
Anyway, as I was saying, people in Figgy’s community do follow him…
And he does have a car.
And yet as uncouth and unruly as he might be…
…CYF makes Figgy so fucking charming and lovable. When they finally arrive at his building, it’s night time, sirens are blaring, and the neighbourhood looks sketchy as hell to Jennifer, but he is damn proud and pleased with his set-up.
Figgy takes Jennifer up to her apartment. It’s cluttered, grimy, and a bit dingy. He points to the fridge, which runs on gas, of all things, so she needs to be extra careful with that. All the while, the train rumbles loudly and shakes through the walls. It ain’t glamorous, but it’s home.
He tells her he lives just below her, so if she needs anything, she can simply stamp on the floor. As he leaves to let her settle in…
The next day, Figgy gets woken up by Jennifer who’s hoping to surprise Vincent at the train station. She coaxes him into driving her. As she runs back upstairs to change, he shakes his head and mutters, “Women are such cha boh 茶煲!” Which is so funny if you know Cantonese as 「茶煲」means “teapot”, but in this case, it’s a homonym for “trouble”. #cantopuns #chinglishasasecondlanguage
(By the way, just as how I’ve realized that my love for gun-shaped things is likely related to John Woo movies, my soft spot for puns makes even more sense now too. Roots, guys. ROOTS.)
However, when Jennifer arrives at the train station, she discovers, to her horror, that Vincent has been cheating on her. Vincent is a total drip. He acts like he did nothing wrong. He calls her childish (Booooo!). And he introduces her to Peggy, the other woman, as “Jennifer from Hong Kong”. Ugh, the worst.
But the best of all? Figgy’s reaction to all this.
Jennifer refuses to talk on the phone with Vincent, but does end up meeting with him over dim sum, where Figgy also happens to work.
Vincent tells Jennifer that now that she’s in America, she should take this opportunity to expand her horizons and make new friends. She pushes for him to just admit that he wants to be with the other girl, but he’s a coward, so he turns it around on her and says it’s just not good for her growth to be attached to him all the time. Then, as if he weren’t awful enough, he quotes Woody Allen, “A relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.” Figgy jumps in, mistaking Vincent’s reference for Cantopop star Alan Tam 譚詠麟, “When did Alan ever say that?! He only said, ‘What a trap, what a trap, what a trap, why me!’ (『這陷阱， 這陷阱，這陷阱，偏我遇上！』) Bullshit!” LOL. Ahhh, another joke made funnier if you know Cantonese.
Heartbroken, Jennifer cries and walks around her apartment in a daze, forgetting to close her fridge properly. Figgy smells the gas leak and manages to drag her out of there in time. Concerned for her wellbeing, he tries to cheer her up and help her get back on her feet. He urges her to focus on her studies, and to forget Vincent and put herself first. He hooks her up with food.
He even builds her a bookcase and helps decorate her apartment!
When she mentions she’s hoping to pick up some work and have enough money to catch a Broadway show, he groans. But they’re so boring!
And yet, the very next day, he lines up to buy tix to surprise her. Dude is starting to catch feelings. Ooooooh. Who can blame him though? She’s hella cute. Unfortunately, just as he proudly announces he has tickets, Jennifer reveals she’s heading out to a babysitting job all the way out in Long Island. When she asks if she heard correctly, that he got tickets to a Broadway show for her, he feigns ignorance. She leaves. He’s bummed.
But shortly after, Jennifer spots Figgy from the bus, arguing with a cop in front of a theatre. She hops off to help him. Figgy yells in Chinglish, but the cop has no idea what he’s saying. “You talk all YES talk, I talk all NO talk. I’m not yellow cow!” (“Yellow Cow 黃牛” is “scalper”.) It makes total sense if you hear it as Cantonese (「你講句句都啱嘅，我講句句都唔啱。我唔係炒黃牛！」), but unfortunately for Figgy, it gets lost in translation. For a Canto audience though? Hilarious 好搞笑!
Jennifer explains that the tickets are theirs and the cop waves them off. When she asks Figgy again if he got the tickets for her, he lies that the tickets are Broken Umbrella Handle’s. She smiles to herself. Sadly, they don’t go to the show together because she still has to babysit, and now she’s really late! Figgy drives her in his new car. It’s another clunker. It’s loud, the horn doesn’t work, it’s got a hole in the floor. But hey, it’s a convertible and at least she doesn’t have to hold on to the door. Plus, Reagan sat in the same one on his campaign trail!
They finally make it to Long Island. Mrs. Sherwood (played by Gigi Wong 黃淑儀) doesn’t have time to make introductions, and Jennifer is left to deal with her daughter, Anna (played by Jeng Ming-suen 鄭明宣, now Katrina Law) on her own. Nervous, she asks Figgy to go in with her. Anna gives them major attitude at first. But Figgy comes through and his silliness and refusal to take bullshit from anyone — yep, even a little girl, or especially a little girl—wins her over. When she refuses to eat grapes that haven’t been peeled, he stuffs a fistful of melon seeds into his mouth and spits out the peels. Then he picks up Anna’s Cabbage Patch doll and starts scolding it and it’s every bit as ridiculous as it sounds. Sadly the subtitles don’t pick up what he says exactly because it’s truly gold: “From now on, you better not bully your big sister [Jennifer] again. If you do, I’ll beat you until even your boogers fly out! 「以後唔准再恰姐姐。再恰姐姐，打你到鼻屎都飛埋出嚟！」” It’s so dumb in English, but in Cantonese, it’s so crass and perfect that it’s the best.
As time goes by, Jennifer gets more acclimatized to the city, enjoying school, making friends, gaining more confidence. Mrs. Sherwood’s new boyfriend, Tony, even offers her a job as a waitress at his fancy Chinese restaurant. She tells Figgy Tony’s a total perv (A Canto term that never fails to make me laugh: 「鹹濕佬」, literally “salty wet man”), but she can handle it, then suggests that he come her visit some time. He’s all, psh, who has the time to do that, but of course, next thing you know…
At the restaurant, Tony’s all smarmy as he flaunts his status and tries to show Figgy up. Whatever, Tony! The place is full of white people, so I’m pretty sure you’re just serving overpriced orange chicken. Big. Whoop.
Unable to read the menu since it’s in English, Figgy tells the waiter to choose for him. The waiter takes full advantage.
This is such a stark contrast to the boisterous and carefree Figgy that waltzed into his local joint and got the peeps there to just whip up a nice spread for him and Jennifer. Here, he’s made to feel like an outsider, in a place where he should totally feel at ease — a friggin’ Chinese restaurant! — all because he doesn’t have money or hasn’t assimilated in the way Salty Wet Man Tony and Douchebag Waiter, or I guess even Jennifer, have been able to. It breaks my heart. It chips away at Figgy too.
Salty Wet Man Tony is super thirsty for Jennifer though. He shows up while she’s babysitting Anna one day, and sidles up to her all touchy and gross. Jennifer rebuffs his advances, but Mrs. Sherwood catches them. She pulls Jennifer aside and makes up some dumb excuse about wanting to put Anna into private school so she’ll no longer being needing her services.
Cut to Figgy angrily rolling up with his crew to Salty Wet Man Tony’s restaurant.
After spending the morning selling dolls she made, Anna and Figgy grab some ’za (which Figgy calls “Yankee pancake 鬼佬鹹煎餅”, ha!). They stop at a vendor when Anna sees a watch band in their display case that would go perfectly with the watch her grandfather gave her. Unfortunately, it’s a little too rich for their blood.
As they cut through a park to walk along the water, Jennifer spots Vincent with Peggy. She panics when he sees her, grabs Figgy, and flees. Seeking sympathy, she asks Figgy who’s prettier, her or Peggy. But he doesn’t want to play this game. She pouts. He rolls his eyes and starts walking away and they get into it. He reminds her that she dumped Vincent and calls her vain and spoiled. She sputters that all he does is gamble day and night, so who is he to judge her? Figgy shrugs and says she’s right, he’s no one; from now on, he won’t bother her anymore and tells her not to cha boh 茶煲 him either. She pouts, waiting for him to turn back around, but he keeps on walking.
The next night, Jennifer tries to make-up with Figgy by inviting him up for dinner.
She’s still not a great cook and he chefsplains, but it’s cute, he’s cute, and they’re cute.
Jennifer and Figgy continue to grow closer. At the beach, she talks about how while she used to be so scared being on her own, she now just wants to see more of the world. Figgy, meanwhile, is happy staying where he is, but dreams of opening his own restaurant someday, right on the pier. He laments that all his friends will probably be gone by then… including her. Jennifer pauses and says maybe she’ll still be around…
She suggests naming his restaurant Sampan, inspired by the English name his English teacher gave him, Samuel Pang. Figgy’s like, Sampan 三板? Like the boat? Exactly. Perfect for the man who was once sailor. He tries it out in English: “Welcome to Sampan. Table for two? Just a minute please!”
Drunk on wine, they get home after a crazy long horse and a carriage ride from the west side of Manhattan all the way to Brooklyn.
They both lose the nerve to make a move. Figgy tells Jennifer that if she needs anything, to just stamp on the floor. She nods. He peels himself off his seat slowly. He repeats, “Just stamp on the floor.”
The next morning, Figgy writes on his mirror three rules (Quit drinking, gambling, and smoking) and five goals. They include “Wear shoes, wear socks”, “Speak English with proper grammar”, but most importantly, goal #5…
Figurehead wants Cha Boh. 船頭愛茶煲
Figgy throws a party and tells Jennifer to invite her friends, but he doesn’t tell her that it’s his birthday. He’s manning the grill and she’s on the dance floor when suddenly, Vincent shows up. Noooooooo. Go awaaaaaay! She decides to be polite. She gets him to try the soup she made—or really, the soup Figgy taught her how to make! — and he compliments her cooking, and they manage to share a laugh. Figgy, who’s been watching this whole time, is utterly crushed.
Vincent reveals that he and Peggy broke up. Of course they did. No one cares, Vincent! Jennifer has no reaction to this news because as I said, no one cares!
Figgy bails, gets smashed, and heads to the gambling den, where Broken Umbrella Handle tells him he needs more money to pay off the gang that’s been shaking him down. Fed up and frustrated, Figgy rallies the group to go find the gang and fight them. If he can’t get with Cha Boh, he’ll go look for trouble!
Jennifer catches Figgy and his friends just as they’re getting in his car. She tries to stop him, but he’s drunk, belligerent, and in full self-sabotage mode. He and his friends drive off. She runs back to the apartment in tears.
As the night wears on, Jennifer can’t sleep. She wanders into Figgy’s space and notices that on his mirror, he’s written his name, age, and birth date in English. She smiles, then it clicks. His birthday is today. Her smile falls.
As the sun comes up, Jennifer walks around New York. She makes her way across a parkette and runs into Anna and Mrs. Sherwood. Mrs. Sherwood is all sheepish. She acknowledges what happened wasn’t Jennifer’s fault, and suggests she move in with them to help look after Anna.
Meanwhile, after a successful night of fighting, Figgy comes home to… a spotless room with an extra surprise!
Renewed with excitement, he rushes out. AND EXCHANGES HIS CAR FOR THE WATCH BAND. YOU GUYS!!!
With no car, Figgy makes his way back to Brooklyn on foot. This sequence here. CYF is just… ugh. The joy in his heart. The vindication in his eyes. His entire body is buzzing. I don’t care that this is the typical grand gesture moment of a movie. Everything leading up to this has been so nuanced and honest and real. These two people from totally different worlds, finding an unlikely connection while finding themselves. I WANT THEM TO WORK SO MUCH.
And oh god, this is all just so excruciating to watch because at the very same moment, Jennifer is packing up her things.
Vincent pulls up to the apartment as she’s bringing her stuff out. He says he was lost and confused, but he wants to settle down now. She doesn’t. She tells him she’s moving to Long Island. He’s disappointed that she’s not going to take him back, but offers to drive her there. She accepts — which, ugh, is frustrating because you know Figgy’s gonna see them together, but also, how was she going to get to Long Island with all her stuff if Vincent hadn’t shown up?!
Figgy assumes the worse, of course. When he asks why she’s moving out, she explains she’s moving to Long Island, but doesn’t tell him she’ll be living with Anna and Mrs. Sherwood. In fact, she gives him her new address so he can visit her except he’s been there before and this would really clear things up if you just told him about your new nanny gig, Jennifer. She asks him why he didn’t tell her it was his birthday as she would’ve celebrated with him, and he acts like it’s NBD. As she moves to get into the car, he hands her the gift box. She, too, has a gift for him. They exchange polite and restrained goodbyes. IT’S AWFUL AND I HATE IT AND I WANT TO SHAKE THEM BOTH.
She takes off in Vincent’s car. Figgy watches them turn the corner as Jennifer waves goodbye. On a whim, he makes one last mad dash. But the car disappears into the bridge and he’s unable to catch up.
*sigh*
Time passes. It doesn’t seem like a lot as Jennifer and Anna are at the beach and Anna still looks about the same age. But as they stroll along the shore, Jennifer mentions how an old friend of hers once talked about wanting to open a restaurant called Sampan around here. Anna’s like, you mean like that one there?
Yesss! Figgy really got his shit together fast.
Welcome to Sampan, Cha Boh.
THE END.
And best of all? CYF lives!!! You know what’s crazy though? The studio had brought up Jackie Chan 成龍 to play Figgy. They didn’t want CYF as he was considered “box office poison” at the time, but Mabel Cheung and Alex Law were adamant about CYF. I’m so glad they pushed for him because I really can’t see anyone else in that role. Not that I know that many HK actors, but he fucking nailed the toughness and sweetness of Figgy. He manages to have that old-fashioned “leading man” presence while still exhibiting boyish charm. It’s outstanding. 💯 一百分!
