How to tell my granddaughter that she will be wonderful on her own way?

Valeria Sasser
Jul 20, 2017 · 3 min read

My first grandchild will be born soon. A girl, Sophia, who I already love so much. Loving someone you don’t know that much comes with a twisted, ambitious grandma’s nesting instinct: I must work harder and more efficiently to make the world a better, fair place for her. I know life is built by living and that difficulties will appear here and there. Hopefully, they will be minimal. I know she will have her share of broken hearts and doubts about her whole self as most young women have. I know there will be stones in her way; some will be pebbles and a little kick will take care of it; some will be big, requiring an extra effort to be removed. But I also know that the hiccups along her way will only serve to make her resilient, resourceful, and understanding. I also know her parents will be doing the hard work of educating her every day, but I am aware I may be a person of influence in her life. Maybe the closest person next to her parents, I don’t know. I don’t know also how much influence I will have or if she will allow me to have or how often, but I do know I will be there for her all the time, any time. I hope she finds a solid foundation, a source of comfort, strength, and infinite love in her family, myself included, not in strangers. I will be second and ready.

Being a woman in this world of shallow perspectives and innumerous obstacles and dangers is not easy, but I hope she is not paralyzed by the challenges she will encounter. I hope she is not consumed by appearance mandates and distorted body images, perpetuated by the infamous peer pressure and specially damaging during the teen years. How to instil in the adolescent and the woman she will become the idea that she is beautiful the way she is and need nothing else to be attractive to anyone, including those, quite often, less-than-desirable men she may fall in love with? How to protect her from the unfair comparisons in the women’s locker rooms or nightclub’s bathrooms? How to enlighten her about the dictatorship of images and consumerism, the shallow waters were women meet to compare their “misfortunes”(from unexpected pimples to legs that seem too thin or too thick) and even submit themselves to risky procedures or dangerous products? How can I make sure she understands love is a kind, warm, and supportive feeling with no connection to any specific type of body or appearance? How to make her appreciative of the differences, of her unique self?

Above all, I hope she is kind to herself along her journey. I hope she is able to still see her shining eyes in the mirror in moments of sadness; able to access the awesome multilingual, knowledgeable brain in moments of self-doubt; able to evaluate clearly the perspectives and horizons she will have ahead of her when in crossroads and decision-making times. I hope she is a compassionate, empathetic, and kind person, not just to others, but to herself, to her efforts, to be able to stand up and go ahead with renovated grit and clear focus any time it is needed.

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Valeria Sasser

Written by

MA Ed; BA Humanism & Cultural Studies. Journalist, public policy advocate, an avid reader about politics, foreign policy, education, immigration. Pen for hire.

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