Dear Mr. Corporate CEO,
It’s me, Suzie. We met that one time when you spilled your coffee, and I cleaned it up.
Oh, you don’t remember me? I had the desk next to the woman you used to hit on and behind the cubicle for the other woman you used to hit on. Hopefully, that helps narrow it down.
How are you? I assume quite well, given the recent Forbes article that said you were one of eleven billionaires who didn’t pay any federal taxes last year. That’s such a dirtbag thing to do that it’s almost kind of… sexy…