You strike a nerve here, Brooke. The rigidity of both men and women about their bucket list of desirable mate qualities seems to come from the nature of online dating itself. To wit, there being way too many selections to choose from. A far cry from the days of meeting someone in school, at work, on a bus, or hanging with your older brother’s bestie.
It’s a vein that L.V. Krause mines with no little humor in her book, Eaten Alive: The truth about online dating for women, which intersperses the results of numerous data research studies and her own insane — and insanely funny — experiences in the online dating world.
What you point to, and what Krause delineates is online dating attempts to quantify something that is actually experiential. It attempts to make our profiles (yes I’m embroiled here too) into a form of consumer goods with a high obsolescence factor. And that will never compute.
Of course this applies equally to Tinder, dick pics and all.
And the rigidity on both sides of the aisle is truly saddening. Instead of being a brave new world, online dating is a fear-filled one.