I’m eleven years sober and I remember so well the years when I tried to control my drinking. I once made a pie chart of my thoughts and was appalled by how much of them were taken up with thoughts of drinking, not drinking, when, where, and on and on. It was exhausting. Once that time wasn’t full of thoughts of drinking, I had infinite time in which to think about all kinds of other stuff!
Once I decided total sobriety was the only way to be free..it was so easy..no more inner conflict, no need for willpower, I just never drank again. I did go to a ton of AA meetings, my idea, and I am forever grateful for the tools it gave me, tools I still use daily.
Women don’t drink “because” of anything, they drink because they like to drink and often because they have to drink. And because they are self medicating pain, of course.
Happy? Drink! Resentful? Drink! Stressed? Drink..you’ve earned it! I don’t know how women let themselves be marketed into believing that being drunk as hell all the time is a sign of strength or independence.
I did a lot of volunteer counseling at Silver Hill Hospital at one point, big famous Ct. rehab. I had women in the 28 day inpatient program. You would not believe the number of women in this locked ward, insisting it couldn’t be that bad because “All I ever drank was wine”! Apparently they never heard the term “wino”. The idea of returning to their lives and not being able to be part of their wine and cheese evenings any longer was inconceivable. Probably 75% of them would be drunk again within a month of walking out the door. Might as well just set fire to thirty grand in the back yard for all the good rehab did.
As the years go on, it just gets easier not to drink, if that’s even possible.