My Instagram is a slut: The Madonna Whore Complex in College

Instagram Valerie

The girl on the left is the same girl Ive always been. Ive talked about this before in reference to my journey through judaism, but not in the context of my transition throughout college.

Now, many know me as an outspoken liberal with an agenda to end sexual assault and create gender equality. However, somehow my actions have been interpreted as the essence of who I truly am by other people. Ive been assumed as being this “good girl”. This shy, academically driven, good girl. Let me be clear when I say that there is nothing wrong with the good girl. Because honestly thats how I identified for a really long time. I never drank or did drugs in high school. I was always honest with my parents and never gave them anything to worry about. But when I came to college I came with the intention of letting myself experience everything and anything. Freshman year I went to all the frat parties, took the scandalous photos, and probably drank a little too much. And I regret none of it. I learned my boundaries, learned what I like and don’t like. I didn’t identify as the good girl anymore, I identified as every other USC freshman looking to have fun.

I was fine with how I was living my life. I am fine with how I am living my life. I do what I want and never try to label myself. That was until other people started to label me. I never felt the need to be overtly provocative until I felt like I had something to prove. My posts on Instagram have gotten increasingly “sluttier” and my social media aesthetic certainly doesn’t match my every day outfit choice. And people have noticed.

It became the running joke that there was a “Facebook Valerie”the madonna, and an “Instagram Valerie” the whore.

Facebook Valerie

It bothered me to no end. What did I need to do to prove that I am fun? That I am not just faking it or pretending to be someone Im not? Did these people think I just wasn’t pretty enough to pull off those kinds of photos? I can be a kick ass feminist and I can be a hot ass college girl too. And I was determined to prove it.

For so long my self confidence depended on what other people thought and said about me. I always wanted to look pretty and feel smart and just feel good enough to be in this abyss of Kate Mosses and Albert Einsteins, this place that I now call home.

The fact that I have to choose between being Instagram likable and real life likable is absurd. Im telling that stupid concept to FUCK OFF.

I helped end the rape statute of limitations in California.

Ive chilled with Gloria Allred.

I got an offer to my dream internship this summer.

Ive done it all, I can do it all, and I will continue to do it all. Im going to smash glass ceilings in my stilettos and my Phi Psi Frost corset and Im going to do it effortlessly

I AM A MADONNA AND I AM A WHORE

p.s. The Instagram is here to stay