Powerful piece Nina, especially for pointing out that women often play a role in perpetrating rape culture, as well as men. And how easy it is to succumb, as you did yourself (and as we all do from time to time), to playing that role. I’m not judging at all here. History is littered with examples of people not sticking up for their own principles because it would cost them something — money, status, their lives even. In your case you didn’t have time to think it through and chose professional stability. I would like to believe, if put in that situation again, you would handle it differently. We must all bring our voices out and find the courage to face the opposition and the consequences. Those consequences don’t have to be all bad…with a smooth but firm delivery (before your coworker painted you as having issues) those men may have actually got the point. Absolutely men need to step up, and I believe they will if they receive enough real world reminders. Until then it’s all in the abstract for them.