Progressivism: Bernie’s Doing It Wrong

Nothing’s more embarrassing than claiming a decades-long record of progressive brocialist revolution, only to find that, whoopsie, all this time you’ve been confused about what “progress” really is.*

But hey, every day we are given an alt-fact enema about how Bernie Sanders is “moving the party left,” by telling black folks they don’t know what’s best for ’em, by dismissing racial justice as “identity politics” and throwing abortion rights down the toilet. Mmmmmkay.

But this isn’t new. He’s been at this for a long time. Someone has compiled his list of greatest hits, reproduced here for your edification:

He OPPOSED legislation that would’ve MAINTAINED OR CREATED OVER 300,000 SMALL BUSINESS JOBS through loans;

OPPOSED efforts to increase funding for advanced technology projects;

OPPOSED Democratic attempts to prevent GOP cuts and increase funding for benefits aimed at LEGAL immigrants, Medicaid, the disabled, and children safety nets;

OPPOSED federal funding to help the homeless;

OPPOSED increased funding for nutritional programs for women, infants, and children;
OPPOSED increased funding for rural development programs;

OPPOSED additional funding for rural housing and development;

OPPOSED funding for assisting prospective homeowners with AIDS;

OPPOSED allowing breastfeeding on federal grounds;

OPPOSED legislation requiring federal agencies to create and enforce anti-sex discrimination policies;

OPPOSED legislation banning imports from forced child labor;

OPPOSED funding going towards investigations of unfair trade practices;

OPPOSED legislation encouraging Pentagon to avoid using foreign imports over domestic ones;

PROPOSED withdrawing from WTO;

OPPOSED pay raises for various federal employees MULTIPLE times… 

OPPOSED increased education funding;

OPPOSED increased funding for poor students:

OPPOSED legislation increasing financial aid;

TWICE OPPOSED increased science funding for historically black colleges:

OPPOSED a bill providing massive support to agricultural communities:

SUPPORTED cutting agricultural funding by ten percent;

OPPOSED increased agricultural funding;

OPPOSED increased funding for prominent farming communities;

OPPOSED funding for drought assistance:

OPPOSED funding for building and repairing farms:

SUPPORTED gutting oversight for agricultural marketing practices;

OPPOSED legislation marketing overseas agriculture practices;

OPPOSED increased food safety and inspection.


I’ll shut the fuck up just as soon as he does. Until then, see you on the low road.


  • Unless it’s “accidentally” helping to elect a fascist sphincter