Protein vs. Cheerios!

Popeye, graduated from ‘Obedience School’ and now lives in a beautiful home in the suburbs with four servants! Only problem is that he cannot remember what he learnt at school.

People who know me know of my immense fear of dogs! I have feared them for as long as I can remember, crossing the street as I saw one walking along, refusing to visit families that housed dogs, jumping on tables, chairs, climbing curtains to avoid being sniffed at and more! But when my children pleaded me for a puppy, out of the graciousness of my gentle heart and my magnanimous feelings of love for them I caved!!!

We now have Popeye, a five month old, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, who behaved like a common thug this morning!!!

The day is beautiful! The sun is out!!! I woke up with a force of energy, joking, laughing and being nutty this morning I delighted my children to no end! When they each left for school, baby Popeye looked disappointed! I decided to cheer him — we left for the park, not far away, with a small lake and the first 20 minutes were splendid! We each enjoyed the sights and smells and the rigorous exercise of walking on a path and stopping every time he wanted to take his surroundings in. He stared at the ducks for so.. long and observed the ripples in the water like a poet! His little soul touched mine and I cherished having him!

Its been a huge adjustment for me! Never say never! I told myself I would never have a puppy and now I do! I told myself I could never love dogs and now I love a few! Bathing the little guy, walking him, scooping his poop, training him, socializing so he will be socialized these are just a few things I have done for this adopted canine, who I call son!

But he resists! He resists my humaneness and wants me to love him for what he is — a dog who will always remain a dog! After I bathe him in a lavender shampoo, he rolls on the grass as if to eliminate the sweet scent from his coat, he licks me incessantly, he loves my children more than he loves me and worst of all he loathes my diet!!

Cheerios and carrots, that’s what I use to train him and he’s been quiet good with that. Sitting on command and leaving chewable slippers and furniture when asked to, dropping the ball while playing fetch and walking on a leash more or less, he’s been a pleasant experience thus far! Today he was evil!!!

As we drove to the park, I looked at his large, extra large, beautiful brown eyes, peering into mine and imagined I saw his soul! I felt anger towards all the humans who eat things with eyes on them, I felt the remorse would be unimaginable if I ever did so!! Did I forget to mention that this morning he was fed an assortment of meat, in the form of dry biscuits, called kibble, that I pretend is okay cause it has no eyes and it does not bleed!!!

So as baby Popeye, sniffed the green grass in the park, I allowed him a longer leash in the event he felt the need to relieve himself, but no!!! He found a dead rat and picked it ‘into’ his mouth, hook, line and sinker, head, tail and sloppy body all alike!!! “Drop it”, I commanded, to no avail, “Leave it”, to no avail, in desperation I offered a handful of cheerios, which he ignored, consuming his own treat with haste now that he knew of my panic!!! He smacked his lips, as I picked the cheerios not wanting to leave trash on public property cause I’m real conscientious of things like that and all.

After that he ran, he ran like the wind, like a rebellious teenager who had got his way and once back in the car he put his head down and slept, snoring a bit, just to remind me of my annoyance and pure disgust! At the traffic light, I was overcome with an urge for revenge, revenge for all the hardships that this little idiotic ball of black fur with shining eyes has put me through these past two months so I invoked my right to annoy! Every time he closed his eyes, I tapped his head so he couldn’t sleep! Pretty soon I lost this battle as well! He ignored my tapping and just slept!!!

Once back home, I lectured him about his ingratitude, his disrespect of his adopted mother’s vegetarian lifestyle, his grossness and his animal like habits including licking his private parts brazenly before me whenever he pleases and he lowered his head! I assumed shame and almost smiled! Popeye found a cheerio under the table and went for it!!!

Case closed!! I need space, I need time and I know I’ll love him again!!!

Originally published at on November 26, 2014.

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