Dog Greeting Etiquette for the Human
The Dos and Don’ts of Greeting Dogs
If walking dogs in New York City has taught me anything, it’s that humans are awful at greeting dogs.
At this point, it’s happened too many times to count on my fingers. I’ll be walking down an already frenzied block, dog in tow, and a young man or woman, or an overexcited child, will decide that the most appropriate method of greeting us is barreling down the sidewalk while screeching at the top of their lungs about “that cute dog!”
Cue an onslaught of cooing, squealing, and unwelcome, and many times inappropriate, petting, and you’ve summed up a dog-walker’s nightmare and a dog owner’s hell. Worth mentioning is that most of these petting-fiends refuse to even make first-contact with me, opting to instead put as much effort as humanely possible into getting between me and my client’s dog.
This has been a traumatic experience for me. Every. Single. Time.
And here’s why.
The ideal dog will be advertised as friendly and exuberant, with the patience of saint. Golden Retrievers, Labrador Retrievers, and the infamous Goldendoodle often come to mind when one thinks of the perfect dog. Renowned for their versatility, all the aforementioned breeds have reputations as guide dogs, therapy dogs, and iconic staples to the average American household.
But these are idealizations. Most dog-savvy people know that far from all dogs are like this. If you’ve volunteered or worked at a rescue, dog-walked, or owned numerous dogs, you’ve likely encountered a sizable number of unruly or aloof dogs, and not necessarily all of them are the result of abuse.
The fact of the matter is that, like people, dogs are individuals, and like people, dogs have personalities, likes, inclinations, and quirks. And, surprising to some, not all dogs enjoy human interaction.
Are there dogs that absolutely love and crave human attention? Yes. Is that every dog? Definitely not.
Now, admittedly, dog greeting etiquette isn’t something we’re taught very well. So I’ve compiled a brief list of Dos and Don’ts to help non-dog-savvy dog-lovers truly become dog’s best friend.
The Dos
DO ask for permission to pet the dog first.
Some dogs are reactive (aggressive with the presence of certain triggers), while other dogs are in training, and some simply do not enjoy the attentions of strangers. To avoid potentially awkward, and sometimes dangerous, situations it is always better to ask permission from the person on the other end of the leash. The worst scenarios are those that could have been avoided by common courtesy.
DO allow a dog to sniff your hand first.
Not every dog will care for it, but it’s always a safe bet to allow a dog to get to know you through your scent. Dogs rely heavily on their olfactory senses, and use their smell to profile not just other dogs, but their owners and people. For some dogs, being pet by a stranger who has improperly greeted them can be a stressful and daunting experience, and can lead to reactions as strong as biting.
For some human perspective, imagine a total stranger hugging you — not fun, huh?
DO let the dog come to you first.
This is often one of the clearest signs that a dog is open to interaction. If a dog refuses to interact with you, do not force them to. Simply resign yourself to the fact that this pupper just isn’t in the mood to socialize and move on.
The Don’ts
DON’T hug or pick up dogs you’ve just met.
For starters, as a general rule of thumb, even if your dog tolerates it, many dogs don’t like restrictive body contact. Picking up, hugging, or grabbing and restraining body parts can be perceived as attempts to block escape routes, or control or exert dominance, and trigger fear, stress, and aggression in dogs, especially if the dog does not know you. (I also wouldn’t blame an owner for being wary of you attempting to dog-nap their companion.)
DON’T get in a strange dog’s face, or hover over it.
Strong eye-to-eye contact and in-your-face interactions can be perceived as aggressive by dogs, and are often the culprits behind why children get bitten so frequently. It is an invasion of space and an intimidating action.
DON’T pet the top of the head first.
Many dogs are actually deeply uncomfortable with strangers petting their head, which is one of the most vulnerable parts of the dog’s body. Dogs don’t have eyes on the back of their heads, and a dog that doesn’t know you doesn’t understand your intentions. Petting the top of the head might be seen as an aggressive or threatening action. Rather, the cheeks, neck, back, and chest areas are much safer options to start with.
These basic rules are imperative for people who work in the rescue industry, but should be at the forefront of every dog-lover’s mind. Loving dogs means respecting their capabilities, and treating them appropriately. After all, making friends should be fun for all parties involved, including our furry friends!
