5 Ways to Overcome Inner Conflict
No one can bring you peace but yourself
All conflict we experience in the world is a conflict within our own selves — Brenda Shoshanna
Inner conflict is no different. It’s something that we create ourselves; it’s an ongoing battle between our thoughts and emotions. When our situations don’t work out the way we planned them to be, it leads to various negative symptoms — anger, frustration, indecisiveness, fear, confusion, annoyance, etc.
In my case, I give more importance to one single issue and hence have trouble being decisive. That further gets pushed by my constant over thinking and eventually before I know it, it results in radical behavior change or negative emotions.
Other Examples of Various Situations: (random examples, not personal)
- I know I should end my relationship because it’s unhealthy, but every time I have an opportunity, I freeze. I’m just so confused what to do!
- My doctor said I need to lose weight. I need to start dieting to get healthier but I love brownies too much!!! Ugh, so frustrating.
- I’ve been wanting to start my own business because my family needs the financial support. It’s so complicated , so I’ve been procrastinating.
Don’t make impulsive decisions — overcome inner conflict…
1Be Conscious and Confront. You need to tackle the outside of your conscious that you are having difficulty accepting. This outside conscious is the hidden part of you that is often attached to painful memories, which is why you avoid going there. Painful or not, you need to be aware of your inner conflict to understand yourself and later make decisions according to what you need versus what you think is right. Be conscious of your choices and make healthy decisions.
2 Silence is key. When someone is silent during a conversation, it usually is implied that the listener either has no knowledge about the subject or has no interest and is being rude. However, I’d like to challenge that idea. Staying silent is being calm, composed, and relaxed. I wouldn’t even hesitate to relate it with meditation during a conversation [in this case, a conversation with yourself]. It’s best practice to listen and observe as your heart and brain are fighting. Remain silent without reacting to either. Lay back, and meditate while the two sort things out. Time heals the greatest wounds, this is just a scratch.
3Time is virtue. In school, during a fight, when your code fails, and in many-other situations, you know to be patient and give your situations time. Time gives you the space to think about various scenarios. You don’t have to rush into things too quickly. Why not apply this patience to internal conflicts as well? Lately, I’ve been associating time with patience, understanding, and acknowledgment. This extra space ultimately leads to analyzing the best outcome. Time is the best player in life. Eventually things work out the way they are meant to work out.
4What do you really want? Stop being influenced by others. Some people will render advice that will be in agreement with your thoughts, and others’ advice will be aligned with your emotions. Everyone has their own opinions, yet no one has the right solution. People have their own expectations; yours don’t have to be aligned with theirs. However, get clear with what you really want. Be aware of your needs, wants, and desires. Stay decisive and confident in your choices and don’t let anyone, including yourself, convince you out of it. There will be many situations when your feelings will be hurt and your brain tells you to walk away. That might even be the advice you get from others, to ensure you are making the right decision. But a couple days/weeks/months later, you could easily realize you aren’t happy with that decision and/or advice. That’s because that wasn’t the right decision to help you get want you wanted. It was an easy alternative method of getting rid of the situation.
5Write it out. Get everything out of your system. Everyone needs to find outlets to release their anxiety and stress, and we generally want to get it all out in the moment. But I advise you to do it through writing. You don’t even need to carry a notebook with you or a pen; you have a phone that probably never leaves your side. Use your notes — give it a date and start writing — ranting. Go back to it later and read your rant. Because of the high volume of stress and/or frustration, your words are related to how you feel in the moment vs what you really mean or want. I guaranty you that more than 50% of your writing won’t make sense or you don’t mean half the things you say. By visually seeing your written thoughts helps you(and your mind) evaluate situations little better and make healthy choices.
It’s not easy, but I think it’s worth a try, don’t you?
As Wayne W. Dyer says — “Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” You can’t get much done in life if you only work on days when you feel good. Don’t rely on situations or people to change your mind and help you gain peace. It’s important to accept some situations and people as they are — stop overthinking and let the inner conflict go.
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