“While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
Let us swear allegiance to a land that’s free,
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer:
God Bless America.
Land that I love …”
- “God Bless America”, Irving Berlin
And indeed those storm clouds have been seriously gathering, particularly above Europe’s CERN Large Hadron Collider — that sixteen-mile underground ring of superconducting magnets quite close to Geneva in Switzerland — on the very day CERN scientists started smashing particles in an experiment aptly called “Awake”.
Perhaps the strangeness of those clouds were caused by the opening of some kind of portal, says Freedom Fighter Times, whose video does show some extremely strange multicolored clouds lit up from the inside, hovering directly above the LHC and appearing to be physically connected to it in some way.
The video’s narrator had this to say about them: “This insane ball of energy was directly over the LHC. Some people reported see faces in it. It is amazing they keep messing with nature and denying it.
“What is in the cloud — some say it is lightening or a massive ball of energy.
“The amount of energy pulling from nature into the collider itself, you can actually see it.
“What portals and doors are being opened in this cloud?”
Yes — what portals and doors, indeed?
Or is it some kind of otherworldly attempt to magnetize the UK back to the European Union after what could be the start of the breakup of the united states of Europe?
Weirder things have happened — in fact one of those weirder things took place, says Slate, over a pizza in Chicago’s O’Hare airport: the conception (if not the birth) of the recent potentially cataclysmic Brexit itself.
It wasn’t, Slate tells us, a particularly excellent pizza, either. The word “greasy” features in the story, which goes that back in 2012 UK Prime Minister David Cameron sat down with other UK government ministers at the airport branch of the then Terminal 3 Pizzeria UNO before their flight home.
There, it was decided that the only way for their Conservative party to hold together through the 2015 general election campaign was to promise the good citizens of the UK a referendum on whether to remain in the EU or not.
And that was a mistake.
Now if only those CERN scientists currently beneath European soil could open some kind of time portal to send someone back to Chicago in 2012, scoop up those government members and bring them not just forward in time to the end of this year but also across the Atlantic from Chicago to Switzerland. Geneva, to be precise.
That, the India Times tells us, is where and when the first branch of “Cafe Fellatio” will be open for a very expensive coffee (over $61.00 at last calculation) but with a free side order of … well, check the name.
Now, operating on the assumption that government officers anywhere in the world are only human, and would enjoy that kind of table service — notable examples being one William Jefferson C, who strangely survived that kind of thing and equally strangely, the ensuing fallout (let’s not even think about the dry-cleaning bill) …
… and another high-powered example being the then President Felix Faure of France — who in 1899, was enjoying the same sort of attention — sans cigar — when he dropped dead.
As a result, the intern young lady attending to him apparently suffered hysterical lockjaw, which made extracting that particular government member a tad difficult.
Let us imagine that Messrs Cameron and his colleagues could be snatched by a present-day CERN operative from their seats in Terminal 3 Pizzeria UNO … and delivered to a tall, wide table in Geneva with coffee service on the top and another kind of service beneath it, both equally good to the last drop.
And then, once the governmental zippers had been securely fastened once more, the three of them could be transported back in time to 2012 O’Hare.
Under those circumstances, maybe the state of world affairs would now be completely different since Cameron and company would have been considerably less stressed out, and a lot happier in themselves.
Maybe Cameron wouldn’t have handed in his resignation a few days back … maybe the British pound wouldn’t have dropped as far as it did … maybe there wouldn’t be such a threat of worldwide recession hanging over our heads… and maybe there wouldn’t be those storm clouds gathering far across the sea above Switzerland.
Oh … wait — it’s not a storm: they’ve switched the Large Hadron Collider back on again.
Pizza, anyone?
