As a Canadian Born Chinese (CBC) I very much relate to your struggle to connect with your culture.
I feel very much the same way about not speaking Cantonese. My dad was too lazy and claimed not to speak even though he’s from Hong Kong and speaks fluently haha. It does feel as if a part…
Although I have a different background from you (born and raised in Singapore, no separation from my culture there), I too, attached much meaning to the chopsticks. I feel it’s very representative of our Chinese culture. I started out using it criss-crossing too, but learnt to use it correctly as I got older. You know what, you really can pick up anything with a pair of chopsticks. Love your title!