A Punch In The GutNuts

i’ve been in search of a new name for myself. i started out by interrupting a conversation in my head, “well, i don’t know…how’d you come up with the first one?” i was named after my father. which means i can’t ask him to give me another new name — i’d have to ask his mother and father; who are no longer with us. i don’t know. i could name myself, obviously, but that’s like throwing yourself a birthday party. so lame. haitians have the coolest names. followed by norwegians, or germans. i wish i could be named after some guttural utterance. maybe a moan, or a fall down the stairs, or a punch in the gut/nuts. anyway, this is stupid — because my name should transcend language. it should be preternatural. it should be all things, alpha and omega. my new name should be whatever she calls me.