POWERLESSNESS:
NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD THIS, UNTIL FELT IT!!
Stuck in a room in the midst of the night or in the middle of the shower with millions of thoughts mumbling around the encephalon, is what every one of us witnesses. Everyone, including us goes through something drastic every single day that makes us feel Powerless in a way or another. It might seem to be a mental breakdown phase of ours or just being low-key hit via thunder of no energy. There is no specific mention of a person in any book or so dealing with powerlessness. It either is a state of mind one attains or a brain disorder caused due to excessive stress and nerve dysfunction.
Science terms may sound more chaotic and complex, but understanding this can be real easy. The dark room is not responsible for these vibes but a mind full of anxiety, past tragedies and a bucket of stress is! “An empty mind, devil’s house”, is no longer true. Because an empty mind fills it up with positivity, creativity and what not; but a mind full of tons of thoughts could be toxic and burdened.
Surrounded by a crowd of knowns and unknowns, yet feeling alone, is another reason that leads to powerlessness. Bundle of thoughts running around the brain can make anyone go through fields of depression, anxiety, sadness, and what not! It is not the thing we hear about every other day as poor mental health which should be talked about, these mental breakdowns are for real!!..
Insecurities, fears, FOMO(most socially acceptable term for this tech world), self doubts bind us more to the chain of being non-resilient and to the indestructible boundaries of powerlessness. These termites of hope, faith, strength, confidence, boldness makes the person hollow from the depth. Inner soul brings up an existential crisis.
I have been into this place of powerlessness, and it honestly sucked. Couldn’t help, couldn’t tell either! Forgotten about me being myself a long time ago. Explaining it to people just makes it worse and self doubt! Keeps increasing. Chaos everywhere! Writing about it still makes me numb, words have left the body. Isolation feels everything, doing nothing becomes a new constant. Mental peace is what we thrive for every damned second, a new beginning scares the crap out of us. Opinion of others look so sick, them suggesting just leaves us with just one thought: stop it, or I’ll punch you right away on your nose! Will, to be productive has now become procrastination. Therapists? It appears shit to us, because how could we expect someone who has never felt the same to heal us? They can’t, not because they’re filled with booklets of such conditions just logically which is of our no help but because we the humans are vessels of illogical behaviors (outcomes out of feelings) known to us.
Sympathy is what is never needed, someone who would just listen to us without giving us a second suggestion becomes our addiction. Healing is a freaking big task, neither easy nor impossible!.. The process requires our inner self to co-operate with us, heart and head have to be walked hand in hand together. But no doubt, it makes us an artist, gives us the super powers to sense everything that everybody else could never adhere to. This marathon includes just us, it is between our shattered self and the will to heal which has quit far ago. This drains the whole of us out to the maximum extent.
The worst part about it is never us, but other humans we are surrounded by. The more we try hard to recover the more they drag us to the past and push us back to the point from where we got up. They throw faults on us which never were faults, give us unwanted words. Space, is what they never understand. The survival of the fittest, implies here in this state. Battling our inner selves and those freaks is a real hard task! I started this before I was even aware about Powerlessness, continued after being a victim of one. Can’t explain how easy it was back then to write about it, and how hard it has become now after dealing with one.
There are so many unsaid things which cannot be framed. I guess this is what healing feels like. Music has started to feel meaningful, having a life sounds grateful. Faith and hope are holding the spine back straight. Patience and God are two keys to peace, but the undefeatable will is being the base of everything. Because if not me, then who else? Giving up on life is never the option.
Those mockingbirds would never stop, because they are pros at throwing their unhealed traumas on us. But little warriors should know those cowards just have lips to blabber around not the courage to withstand what we did because: Those who jump into treacherous waters owe no explanation to those who stand and watch!..
People have now brought up the audacity to compare themselves with the ones suffering. They’ve made it a competition as if they’re going to get some medals in the athletic meet of most traumatized homo sapiens. This ritual is being carried since ages, and there’s no cure for them so far.
“Isolate, Pray, Heal, Ignore, Get Up and Fight!..”
Yeah, it might sound easy to brag about healing but at last it is all about how we want to live our only life we’re blessed with. Saying no to powerlessness and negativity has to be the main aim of us. One going through these is the one who lives in real life cinematics, with them being the lead role of the drama named life!
Thank you!..
