Day 132 of Azerbaijani “Eco-Activism”
Five years later, as I relisten and reread the interviews I conducted in Artsakh in 2018, everything seems crystal clear. I understood why I came to Armenia and why I am here. I fell in love with Artsakh and its people. I made a promise to myself that I would try and help find a resolution to the conflict in order for all the children to live a peaceful and fulfilling life. Yet two and a half years later, that “peace” was broken, and those people’s lives changed forever. There is no more peace. Only tragedy and loss have persisted.
Yet as we mourn, we have lost even more land and lives. Azerbaijan will not stop as they prepare for yet another war. A war that could encompass Armenia as a whole. The number one hooligan (Aliyev) himself has publicly stated Armenia is Western Azerbaijan. I remember my interview with the elder of Getavan. We laughed at how ridiculous one could be to claim such a thing. However, here is the president of Azerbaijan not only claiming such things but also willing to act on them and falsify history.
My mind has been fully consumed by Artsakh and there has been little space for anything else. I have written and written endlessly for the past 132 days about Artsakh. I thought it would be a release, but, at times, it feels like a burden. A burden that consumes my heart and mind completely. I am heartbroken as I know what another war could mean for Armenia and Artsakh. I hope I am wrong, but the odds are stacked against us as the current situation holds. It has been centuries of being pushed around as a nation. Is it time to give up and give in? I would vehemently say no, but to struggle for so long cannot be healthy. Also, for us to strive as a nation, our existence should not constantly be threatened. Maybe I have dreamt too big. Maybe I have overstepped what is possible. Maybe I envision a world that is too idealistic. Maybe I have given too much hope and faith to humanity. But maybe not, because I have seen the beauty of this world and see the potential we humans have in creating something better.
4/22/23
