How a New Year’s Resolution Helped Me Overcome Anxiety
Every year, I would refuse to make New Year’s resolutions because by this time in January, I assumed my old ways would have returned. But a few years ago, I returned home from a brutal graduate program, one that I had attended because my family had anxiously pressured me to continue my education as soon as possible, even though I wasn’t completely sure, and one that had put me on the receiving end of intense sexism and racism. I realized that doing the same thing, doing whatever made sense to others’ or my own anxiety, had led me to this point so I changed my mind and made a New Year’s resolution. This was not the typical “lose weight” or “stop eating candy” (still working on that). Instead, I resolved to do exactly the opposite of what other people’s anxiety kept telling me to do and I decided to try new things.
Many of my family and friends have coped with anxiety of what might happen if they strayed outside their narrow routines and tried anything new. They regularly refused to go to malls, drive on freeways and talk to other people because it was new and something bad might happen. I resolved to not be ruled by anxiety and made a conscious effort to try new things, from small (new clothes) to big (working for a completely different industry). Anxiety is being afraid of the unknown and nothing is more unknown than something new. When I first made this resolution, I assumed I would find some great new restaurants and maybe a hobby or two. But by the end of 2016, a New Year’s Resolution I made years ago still helps me stave off the anxiety that is my legacy and keep the fear from running my life.
At first, I tried new restaurants. The teriyaki take-out place which I had thought about trying a million times? I finally went and found my new comfort food. The gyro place nearby? I finally went and discovered hummus and vegetables on pita are a delicious combination. Over time, my new “things” became more significant. My doctor recommended a naturopath and instead of refusing, I went. Previously, I would have said “I’ve never been to a naturopath; what could they know.” The naturopath, within a month, found the cause of a crippling fatigue that no doctor had been able to treat for over a decade. Suddenly, I was free of three hour naps and spending my weekends as a zombie.
My newfound energy helped me try even more new things, such as hiking. Instead of staying home in fear that this new park might be dangerous or it might be too hard a hike for my health, I went. I stood on top of hills and gazed at beautiful mountains through the clear sky and walked along gorgeous (but freezing) lakes and streams. Sometimes, this didn’t work out like when we drove to a national park and realized we hadn’t picked up the required pass at a nearby office that was closed that day. But I found that with each new experience, successful or not, my regret and thoughts of “what if” became fewer and fewer. And I stopped making decisions based on what my family had feared and started making decisions based on what could bring positivity into my life.
This doesn’t mean that I try every new opportunity. Some things are just too toxic, dangerous or uncertain that they really should not be tried. But resolving to try new things helped me get past my family’s anxiety and also learn to trust myself when I thought something was too dangerous. I learned to listen to my fear but not be ruled by it, to judge whether my fear was correct or exaggerated and to trust my judgment. The experiences I gained helped me gauge my fear so I could trust my emotions and my rational thinking. Fear of going to the national park and not having the right pass? That turned out fine so listen to my rational thinking instead next time. Fear that staying in contact with a bitterly angry friend would mean too many headaches? Probably true, emotions were right this time. Even today, I still resolve to try new things. Except giving up candy; that one I might never try.
