
I have this insane tendency to draw people right with the first conversation. I carry a very cool, casual and liberal attitude, and dealing with a stranger like an old friend comes as a natural skill to me.
What I thought of as my greatest first, however, if you come to think of it, is the greatest liability for me too.
It’s easy to let anyone in without any discrimination, without any filters. It is not a sign of great nature, but of great stupidity.
How long have I acknowledged the fact that I just let things go with the wind in whichever direction they’re blowing and happily sail that way? I never took my own charge, never set out my own agenda, never had a particular vision of what I wanted in life and what I’d need to for it.
Cold people are condemned. They are reserved. They are accused of “having an attitude”. The truth is, they apply filters in their lives and only let the cream in. They don’t need many friends, only sensible friends. That’s why they’re often more successful than the ones who’re out there for everybody. They’re selfish, but ultimately, theirs is the altar you end up worshiping, for the point they’ve reached in their lives.
So now that you’ve understood the lesson, what to do?
True, you can’t cut off all the bonds today. But form your Big Circle (refer next article) today. Give people only access to one mode of communication. What’s been the most open way you communicate? Through texting? Start being cold in texts, atleast with new people. No one will even complain, they’ll think it’s normal, seeing that so many people don’t actually know how to text. You’ll save yourself from giving them the extra warm welcome and you’ll be relieved from future expectations.
Talk to people on a variety of topics, but don’t let them inside your personal space. Save that for a very few. You don’t have to feed all of their curiosity.
Don’t be afraid of saying no. Don’t worry, you won’t offend them. Because people accept you for however much you offer them, knowing that’s just “how you are”.
Most importantly, keep finding new ways to make them wait. Don’t be too available. That’ll give you two bumper benefits- one, you’ll have time to finish off what you’ve got to do (which you procrastinate when you’re busy talking to them and never do). Second, they’ll hopefully see the boundaries and won’t try to invade your space too much. One more thing, they won’t take you for granted.
So now that you know what to do, prioritize right away!
