The Importance of Releasing Borrowed Perspectives
A Reflection on Your Thinking | 20 Perspectives to Rid Yourself Off Today
When you float through your days, routines and everyday cycles, have you ever had the moment of reflecting why you made a certain choice, why you did not go to someplace, why you did something in spite of not wanting to do it or vice versa?
I am talking about the momentary pauses of intended reflections that coax you to question the core reasons behind your actions or the lack of them. And therefore, unveil the source of your thought. The foundation of your perspective.
It’s mindboggling how millions of people in the world operate on a daily level with a thinking that is not even theirs. That is masked and accumulated with the dust of futile information overload, unimportant delving and streaming of other people’s stories, struggling of adherence to baseless expectations, a disturbingly false sense of self, and an extreme lack of courage to stand up for themselves. To think for themselves. To have a perspective that is not borrowed. That is their own.
How can a world where people operate under the influence of borrowed perspectives, produce original breakthroughs of invention and evolution!
It is our quintessential duty as a human race towards ourselves; to rid our minds of the smut that the side effects of digitalization and technology have brought upon, and to strive individually, as well as, collectively to make sure our actions and choices are led by perspectives that are sincere and our own.
What does it mean to have your own perspective?
To have one’s own perspective means having the conscious awareness while performing a thought, action or choice, that the guiding force behind your decision-making comes from a clear deciphering of the situation, by your own intellect, understanding and conclusion; without having any external influence clouding it at all.
It can be argued that one’s experiences and society at large shape the social construct and thinking of an individual; therefore it can be practically impossible to ensure that one’s own perspective is in entirety one’s own, or whether or not has traces of social influence, education, information, or expectations.
To have one’s own perspective means in spite of weighing all the available information, having the courage of analysing it with empathy, goodwill and fairness while acknowledging that pre-concluded notions, assumptions and beliefs about something can quite often be the result of misled, misinterpreted or ill-informed social stigmas, patterns and fears. Or not.
To have one’s own perspective means humbling one’s knowledge and accepting the lack of it as well, for every pessimistic impossibility that is shunned, discarded or disbelieved, there exist a billion possibilities of it being true in a different context.
To have one’s own perspective means releasing the borrowed ones and having the courage to stand up for your own thinking, even if you have to stand up alone. After all, original thought is the playground for the Brave!
How do you recognize your perspectives may be borrowed for an entire life? How do you deconstruct your thinking in a way that you consciously and consistently think with your own mind, form your “own perspectives”?
The more as a collective race, we think clearly and form our opinions based on our own understanding and reasoning than merely believing that which is told, shown or already believed; the more will we evolve in our collective intelligence and the more will we strive to make our world a better place, starting from the source. From our minds.
The reason I felt the desperate need to put this message across has been primarily because of the painstaking frustration I experience when I see people following borrowed perspectives and ruining not just their lives, but that of others. Here are my 20 short-listed borrowed perspectives, that I believe have robbed people ( that I have personally known) and constantly rob many others and our planet of the ‘good’ in life, and would be better to be released.
# 1. Owning something is NOT a sign of prosperity, please note.
The growing number of uncontrolled vehicles produced to fuel the age-old thinking of vehicles being a sign of prosperity has resulted in a massive cloud of carbon dioxide and hazardous air conditions in most developing countries that have failed to collectively rectify this thinking. This has further led industrial car manufacturers to produce, even more, to match supply with demand; while the lack of institutional ability to control production and purchasing of vehicles or evidence-based action to the calculation of carbon footprint numbers has put most developing countries at a huge risk of living in inappropriate conditions for basic human breath.
Like vehicles, neither is owning a home a sign of prosperity if it takes money out of your pocket, instead of giving you. The sooner one releases these battles, the easier it is to carve one’s actions.
#2. You do not NEED someone in your life.
A human being is absolutely capable of living, enjoying and evolving beautifully without having the need of a partner, lover, spouse or the infamous “soulmate.”
If people dedicate their will to experience the most of their lives, bringing out the best of themselves, and being open to receiving and giving love without forming preconceived notions, there will never be a need in their lives to wonder whether they need to add someone to their life to feel secure in their older years or in their present existence. The beauty of two people as partners can be a choice of permanence for some, a flux for others, and a rest for the rest. There’s no best way or a need for one to adhere to. Indeed, living individually, while cherishing strong human bonds and real interactions with others can easily rid one of the dependancy on one person.
Long enough, society has condemned the free will of those who enjoy their own company more than an eternal partner or a longtime flatmate who is a product of social concepts like marriage. The need and choice of being with someone must wholly be the act of true and sincere intent and desire to build a life together, than a mere vacuum filling of our own emptiness. Think before you commit. If you do, go all in.
#3. Of course, you can and must take every opportunity to Go To School yourself, regardless of your age, workload, or financial status.
At 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60,or 100 years of age. As a human being, it is of quintessential importance that we feed our curiosities by pursuing them, be it through in/formal education, delving into a hobby, moving to a different country, learning a new language, picking up an instrument, volunteering for a cause or starting a business. That the only instrument of happiness is quenching the thirst of the core self and making that thirst quench your financials as well, regardless of age, gender, or phase of life. That it must be our duty to not just fuel journeys of our own discovery and make sure we are self-sustained independently first, but also encourage others- our colleagues, friends, families, and parents to fuel theirs and be pillars of knowledge and independence themselves.
#4. Unhappiness cannot be the foundation of happiness.
There are times in life, one is put across on crossroads and must make a choice that is led by clarity, empathy, sincerity, and goodwill- for all, including your own self. Sadly, the context of “sacrifice” and “compromise” have been given a lot of importance, without clearly shedding simultaneous light on the need for self-evolution when doing something that one labels as a “sacrifice” or a “compromise” in itself.
Be it as a woman or a man, it is important one recognizes the need for the well-being of the self and then the consequent responsibilities towards the others. Like in flights, we are often reminded. “ Wear the oxygen mask first on yourself. Then, help your children or others.” There are steps that each of the problems can be dealt with if one thinks with clarity in own perspectives and direction.
While excuses of helplessness can only lead to the darkness of direction, it is important to note here, that with a well-defined action plan and decisiveness and humility in intent, it is completely acceptable and recommendable to walk out of something that does more harm than good.
#5. It’s disheartening to see the number of people who refuse to try something or take the lead in something, that they could probably be better at than the rest, thanks to their belief that they lack the “business acumen” for it.
The concept of business acumen has long been fanned gloriously, adding further false context that it is something one is born with. While Wikipedia defines business acumen as “the keenness and quickness in understanding and dealing with a “business situation” (risks and opportunities) in a manner that is likely to lead to a good outcome. ”
It should be clear that keenness and quickness in understanding is something that can be honed with persistent and honest intent; that anyone wanting a good outcome, with an innate hunger for seeing things succeed can learn business, financial, or even space science acumen. That a creative can think business and vice versa. Its what you put attention to grows. The next time you see yourself or someone state that they lack business acumen, please shed some light. Or illuminate yourself.
#6. While it can be an interesting learning experience to get certification and formal education, one must not hold oneself back when wanting to pursue a direction or passion, allowing the lack of a “degree” qualification to get in the way.
There are hundreds of thousands of inspiring stories from around the world that have long shown us that success in life is secured by plain intent, effort and consistency and not necessarily a “degree.” Those who continue to let their lack of qualification get in the way of their dreams, merely lack the commitment and will to go the extra mile. Don’t do that to yourself. Please, release this perspective.
#7. Being born in a developing country of 1.3 billion people, and being a first-hand witness of what a lack of a coherent educational system does to a nation, to me, the economic divide in our populations in India has been an epitome of showcasing how expensive western education can be used as a tool of social comparison and graceful tactics of (sadly) demonstrating clear one-ups.
In the fabulous era of connectivity, we often forget the good it offers when we are lost in its sea of content. There are thousands of free schools and affordable degrees online or in your own/nearest state, town and country that can be easily getting you the same learning that an expensive degree would. Provided, your commitment is wholehearted.
#8. I wonder who uses the term “failed” anymore in life when addressing to human beings! People who use such metaphors for others can be showcasing their lack of emotional intelligence and empathy instead, which is not the most attractive quality, if we may agree.
Our experiences are an undulation of many failures and some victories that shape us, our today and the courage we build each day to face life and ourselves. Terming someone a label intended to demean them, can be a reflection that can be returned by someone in the future when talking of us. It all comes around. Empathy is a daily practice of digging the good in others and ourselves.
#9. And, how do you plan to survive, and manage to be happy throughout your life? Or is even that, left to the Universe?
While I truly appreciate the Universe and the good for all and vehemently vouch for it, we need to have an understanding here about money, and its importance in anything we wish to experience, fulfil, or give.
Independently as individuals first. Money is a highly important tool or a vehicle to reach your life destinations that may not be to become a billionaire, but at least to let you explore the best in yourself, learn things that inspire you, experience the beauty of the world, and do so with a mental peace that money brings of a joyful survival and evolution in the society and the Self.
The importance of financial independence, irrespective of your marital status, gender, nationality, or age, is by far the most important ammunition you may need in your life, that will protect you and shape your way of courageous perspectives and exciting journeys.
#10. They won’t, although there is the highest possibility for them to do so if we continue to fuel, share and dig this possibility. The human intelligence and its quest for survival, will take this fear as a blessing in disguise and create consequent actions to prevent the world from robotic apocalypse.
We cannot as a planet conclude blindly that robots will take over the world with these predictions that are meant to evoke collective fear. And fear is by far the best marketing tool. We cannot discard the successes that human intelligence has got us. I’d urge some faith in science and the human mind before sharing, spreading or concluding such perspectives. Invention and creation can be pushed to build good than bad. And it should be our responsibility to weigh information with self-researched evidence before believing or fearing it.
#11. Try again. Come on. No one has concluded you to be unhappy with yourself, if you are, that is. We, as human beings, have been given a sacred vehicle to carry out our experiences- led by our choices on earth- the sacred body temple.
It’s okay to slack. But slacking for good is uncalled for your inner self. Do not give up on yourself. I repeat. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. You have one life, one vehicle to experience. Why would you want to run out of fuel mid-way? Please think.
It’s not about having a six-pack or being a perfect 10. It is more about nourishing and taking care of yourself, which is a sign of self-love and respect for your body temple. It is more about nurturing good health with responsible efforts that can lighten and energize your body so you can experience life with more involvement and participation than discontent or boredom.
#12. Of course. Listen to Your Parents! However.
Parents are our guiding lights into this world. ( Note: Borrowed Thinking Cliche Alert) However, there are times they can also be wrong, inexperienced, unaware. Thanks to our lack of real communication with them, of course. They are nowhere to be blamed when they are expecting the best for us, from us.
In their perspective, knowledge and understanding of life, they always, (most often than not), genuinely express their goodwill for us. Although there is the highest possibility that it is miles apart from our expectation of ourselves. However, there are times, we, as the evolving generation, must take the responsibility of having a difficult conversation. Of confessions and truths. Of expectations and acceptations. Of each other. The way we are. And listen to our parents while encouraging them to listen to us. It is okay and very important to take the responsibility of role-reversal with parents if need be.
#13. Sadly, often concluded by newly independent, young adults or those put off with certain expectations from their parents.
Acceptable. Fair enough. We cannot choose our parents. And at some infuriated point, may think, we have reached a stage that we can conveniently do without them, be less dependent on them financially, mentally, emotionally. From our minds. From our everyday lives. And think- perhaps, we are strong enough to be without them. Still, though, the death of a parent haunts one the most. It is important recognizing the importance of nurturing regular conversations and experiences with one’s parents early on for the mental well being in one’s own future years. Many individuals suffer massive guilt of neglect and lack of effort in mending broken relations or making difficult conversations early on with their parents. It can be one of the most painful burdens and can be eased and released by adopting the approach of acceptance and releasing the load of expectations from them.
Relations take Effort.
Efforts take Action. Action takes Intent. Intent takes Love.
Show your Love to your parents. Sleep more peacefully.
#14. I understand your conclusion. But they aren’t. If we continue holding the same perspectives while expecting change, how can the change we expect, change our perspectives of stagnant beliefs again?
There are people who go the extra mile to voice their dissent. Put themselves at the mockery of public and media, and courageously march forward still. Some of them are okay calling themselves ‘ a politician.’ Some aren't. There must be something that guides them. It cannot always be only money. Or only power. There are many who are driven by their vision of change and lead with transparency as well. As good and bad simultaneously co-exist, so do corrupt and honest politicians. Let there be hope!
#15. Disruption is so Passé, Try Unification
High time that responsible entrepreneurs start redefining the values of innovation, their core reasons behind it and shape their ideas keeping the collective good at the forefront.
According to the Dictionary, the meaning of disruption (n) can be explained as disturbance or problems which interrupt an event, activity, or process.
According to Wikipedia, “In business theory, disruptive innovation is an innovation that creates a new market and value network and eventually disrupts an existing market and value network, displacing established market-leading firms, products, and alliances.”
The aim of entrepreneurs capable of producing sustainable innovations that can shape revolutionary evolutions in technology and global well-being must be unification instead of displacement. Displacement and Disruption of existing markets create discontent for most, while victory for one. As an innovator, the aim of the creator should be to ensure the collective good instead of a selfishly, unidirectional growth- led, monopoly creating drive.
#16. False. The truth is that you can be where you want to be in the time-frame that you decide and with the necessary persistent effort, believe that you will reach in yourself.
I say that with personal experience. You can be where you want to be regardless of your “ step number on the eternal corporate ladder”, provided you have the cojones to ask for it.
#17. Not at all. Marriage is a choice and not a necessity.
It’s the label and the subsequent tags that ruin it for many couples and is not considered as a necessity anymore, thanks to the courageous un-borrowed perspectives of individuals defining their own norms while building beautiful lives for decades together, without a marriage certificate.
The illusion of eternal love and sexual interest in the one may have been debugged as a myth by some around the world or religiously vouched by others. While companionship can be beautiful, marriage is definitely not a conclusion or the end goal to any relationship and must stop being considered and pushed upon others or oneself. One does not need to get married in life to be able to live a fulfilling and happy experience. And must only do so if one has the ability to lead one’s own happiness first as well as contribute to the overall well being of their prospective partner.
#18. Unreal. For some, children can be much more beautiful when they belong to others. Some people are also built to have independent, human nurture responsibility-less living; not because they do not appreciate children, but because they just do not feel the need to have them. And there’s a lot to learn from that. To start off, the courage to go against the system and acknowledging your own.
It is alarming the number of people who have succumbed to societal and family pressure and become a parent against their deepest will. Such acts of cowardice and irresponsibility must not be encouraged. Being a parent is nature’s gift to life and must only be considered if one can take responsibility for the self first, and then the new life one wishes to give birth while ensuring utmost love and dedication. Not half-heartedly or because it is expected of one once married.
#19. There are phases in life that are filled with incessant dismay and continuous frustrations. When one can start believing that there possibly can’t be any light at the end of that damning tunnel. That perhaps its a loop and not a tunnel at all. That figuring life and the self can be a constant test of tiring battles and a painstaking process of restarting your spark, over and over again.
When such thoughts occupy our minds, it is recommendable to think about why one started at all. To reflect and connect with the conscious, aware thought that comes, when one is beyond the haze and noises of worry and self-disbelief. It is in that silent listening to the self, that asking clear questions literally produce clear answers for your way out of these difficult experiences and forward directions.
You can never lose something that is inherently yours, that is humanistically a gift of nature to mankind. A ‘ spark’ is something that is not lost but can be fanned to shine so bright that it can illuminate the way for others, or can be, by choice, dimmed to extinguishment. The choice is always ours.
#20. While one can be inspired and moved by the words of others, it is important to analyse and interpret any information, advice or content with an open mind, a sense of self-awareness and assumption-less reasoning before forming it a part of one’s own newly shaped, unborrowed, and ruthlessly original perspectives.
Enough said.
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I am Varsha Krishnani, a social innovation strategist at The Millennial Company, from Bombay, India; currently living in Fuerte Ventura, Canary Islands, Spain where I am working on a tourism innovation project for the island, with the local community and the Government.
